"Christmas In Japan" Paul Anka (1960)

Japanese 8-Track Tapes

If there was one place on earth you probably never thought you would ever see the 8-Track tape, it's Japan.

What would a country as technologically advanced as Japan even do with this clunky, inefficient American import? Cassette tapes were dominant in Japan for pop music recordings long before America seriously caught on in the 1980s.

I'm not sure when these were released, but I'm guessing somewhere in the mid 1970s, yet there is literally nothing on Japanese 8-Tracks anywhere online. But when I found these at Goodwill today, I had to pounce on them. Not a bad deal either - 40 cents for all four of them.

I don't have an 8-Track player, but I'm not ruling out getting one, just out of curiosity of hearing what these sound like.



  

"Hello Kitty" Avril Lavigne (2014)

When I first heard this song, I knew it was going to happen. Like radioactive debris from Fukushima, J-Pop was going to wash up on our shores sooner or later. Or maybe it was an advertisement for Kawaii Crush that somehow escaped the security of the Saturday morning TV kids show block.

Then I found out who sang it.

And yes, her husband Chad Kroeger (a.k.a. that Nickelback guy) co-wrote and produced this. After talking with some Canadian friends, we mutually agreed Canada is on it's way to a diplomatic crisis if they don't get these two under control. 

Watching this video kinda almost makes you want to write an apropos answer song back to her. You know. Something that starts out with "Chill out, what you yellin' for/Lay back, it's all been done before...."

But a song like this begs to be parodied. Luckily, it has...

Kawaii Crush

You know, it's the creepy weird crap they make for little girls these days that really makes me take back every bad thing I ever said about Holly Hobbie.

Or at least Holly Hobbie never wore outsized animal carcasses over bubble gum pink hair. And some of you also have young daughters who have begged you or Santa for this.  

Now look, I know we live in edgier times. But what the hell is Kawaii Crush?

I had to investigate.

Oh dear. For those of you who just ate Christmas candy, you're probably going to need an insulin shot in 4-3-2-1.....

And who sings this soundtrack? Maroon 5? (I can't tell anymore through all the AutoTune they use in commercial pop music these days.)

Finding no answers from YouTube (and Wikipedia has no current entry on it.)

I went to Kawaii Crush's web site.

A Flash video popped up with "What is Kawaii Crush?" above the player and feeling a bit of relief, I watched my relief turn to horror as apparently, these dolls or whatever are, are supposed to be cute and they have cute crushes on cute kitties, cute pandas, cute birds and cute bunnies and cover their craniums in cute cuddly carcasses of cute critters. They live in a world where everything is cute and everyone has a crush. ("Even on candy!")

They have names like Sunny Bunny Hop Hop, Katie Cat Meow Meow, Owlena Hoot Hoot and Amanda Panda Pop.

It's enough to make Hello Kitty look like G.I. Joe.

Fortunately, the web site had a "Grown Ups" link. Unfortunately, it has the only information a parent needs to know from a toy company: Like, Follow, Subscribe and BUY!!

I stopped right here. This is about as far into Kawaii Crush cuteness as I could go without going into catastrophic diabetic shock.

Amazing Japanese Cell Phone TV Commercial

Weird 1950s Japanese Christmas Toy

It's An Outrage!: Pepsi Products Available In Japan, But Not In America

Pepsi Flavoured Cheetos

Shame on Pepsi! Don't they think American foodies wouldn't love to try these here?

Vintage Japanese Subway Poster

Vintage Japanese subway poster warning of the three monsters you are most likely to encounter whilst on Japanese subways: Nesshii (the sleeping monster), Asshii (the leg-crossing monster), and Shinbunshii (the newspaper-reading monster).

Forgotten Cable TV Channels

In the early days of cable TV, there weren't many channels. In fact, they were mostly your local over the air TV stations (with a few from the hinterlands, or over the border if you lived near Canada or Mexico.) The places where cable TV at that time was most frequently used were in areas too distant from cities with TV stations, where signals were too snowy and ghosty to watch - if they could be received at all.

That changed in the early '70s with the introduction of HBO and Showtime premium movie channels. By the late '70s cable began adding "super stations", over the air TV stations that offered their programming to nationwide cable (WTBS Atlanta - now known as simply TBS - the original Atlanta TV station was sold in the mid '80s. And WGN-TV Chicago and a few short-lived channels.)

The lineup was vastly expanded by 1980. And along the way, there were countless startup channels that grew and morphed into household names we know today: Lifetime, Fuse, MSNBC, Bloomberg, ABC Family and so on.

And now, let's take a look at the cable TV grid of yesteryear.......

- Cable Health Network (1982): Featured mostly medical and health related programming with some programming aimed towards women. Became Lifetime in 1984.

- SPN (Satellite Program Network, 1980-1988): Really low budget affair, ran mostly old public domain films from the '30s and '40s, some foreign programming and low budget, often politically biased programming. changed it's name to Tempo before being bought by NBC and relaunched as CNBC.

- The Video Music Channel (early '80s): One of the few pre-MTV video music channels and seen on selected cable TV systems as well. The VMC, like WTBS and CNN was based in Atlanta (but unrelated.) And it was one of a few major market over the air UHF TV stations that ran all music videos (others were in Boston and New York.) It's been said the original plan for Seattle's KTZZ-TV (now KZJO-TV) was to run primarily music videos, but the idea was scuttled after Viacom threatened to not carry the station on it's vast Seattle area cable system, lest it harm it's precious MTV.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJcg0ZPf8NU 

- The Nashville Network: Cable TV's first video music channel aimed primarily at country music fans. The Nashville Network had some modest success, but later expanded into programming for men, adding wrestling, action movies and other fare and briefly rebranded as The National Network before becoming Spike TV. The Nashville Network however has been relaunched in 2012 as an over the air DTV sub-channel network.

- The CBN Family Channel: Launched by evangelist Pat Robertson as a "family friendly" TV channel  Initially all religious, it moved towards mainstream classic TV with sitcoms and westerns from the '50s. It was eventually sold to Fox and later Disney/ABC. But as a precondition, the network MUST to this day carry Robertson's own show, The 700 Club. Why? Because Pat Robertson owns the word "Family" (as trademarked/marketed as a TV network.)

- FNN (Financial News Network) An early business news channel. A pretty interesting one I must say - you never saw Frank Zappa hosting a show on CNBC did you?

- Alpha Repertory Television Service (ARTS): One of the first highbrow fine arts cable TV channels (along with Bravo and The Entertainment Channel.)

One of the early predictions of the expanding cable TV boom of the early '80s was these channels would be so successful, there would be no need for government-funded PBS (which the Reagan administration and all Republicans afterward absolutely HATED.)

Unfortunately, advertisers for these channels were hard to come by. Commercial advertisers were never big on classical music, opera, ballet and the fine arts to begin with and most finicky arts-oriented viewers resented the whole idea. Period. ARTS merged with The Entertainment Channel to form - what else, Arts & Entertainment or simply, A&E. 

Originally, ARTS aired on Nickelodeon's channel after Nick signed off. After A&E was formed, the evening hours formerly used by ARTS became Nick at Nite, originally running rerun sitcoms from the '60s and '70s.

- Kaleidoscope: A channel for those with disabilities. Looked like a great idea, but disabilities are far too wide ranging for one channel to specialize in.

- MuchMusic USA: MuchMusic (or simply Much) is a Canadian video music channel that stepped into the American market. with limited success. It rebranded as fuse in 2003 and has for the most part replaced MTV as the primary TV source of music videos, which the original MTV ended in the early 2000s to focus on solely on teen oriented "reality" shows.

- Fine Living Network: A network targeted to upscale viewers. It was replaced by The Cooking Channel.

- The International Channel: Became AZN, targeting Asian Americans. AZN folded in 2008.

- Trio: An unusual cable network. A joint venture of the CBC (yep, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) and NBC, this channel specialized in American TV shows that were largely forgotten or unseen in most of America and Canadian and UK TV programs such as The Littlest Hobo, Follyfoot and Coronation Street and then-current Australian programs such as The Blue Heelers. It also showed the infamous American Pink Lady & Jeff show for the first time in nearly 25 years in 2002.

This is likely to be the first in a series. So many cable TV channels have come and gone, it's hard to name them all.

Pudding Cups, Japanese Style

Robo Jesus

All Hail The Saviour Of Computer Geeks Everywhere. It was programmed with scalable compatibility and simplicity, yet It was decommissioned on the UNIVAC mainframe for our parsing errors......

(And yes, it's a REAL TOY from Japan)

Cup Noodles

There isn't a more perfect instant food in the world than Cup Noodles.

Formerly known in the USA as Cup O' Noodles, this tasty noodle soup has kept everyone from latch key kids to college students to bachelor guys from starving for nearly 40 years. As easy to make as tea and unlike it's pot made counterpart, Top Ramen. Cup Noodles requires only one utensil, a fork (and even that's solved by picking up plastic forks in the salad bar of the supermarket.) In Japan, plastic utensils are often provided

For me, somehow Cup Noodles even TASTE better than Top Ramen.

And speaking of taste, Cup Noodles around the world have some pretty exotic flavours with Singapore having the most variety, including Spicy Black Pepper, Chicken Satay. However, Germany has it's own flavours, such as Broccoli and even Mashed Potato. The Phillipines have Batchoy and Mexico has Tapatio (hot sauce) flavour. In Indonesia, they have a flavour called Tominapple. Not quite sure what that is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cup_Noodles

Bon Appetit!

Halloween Hits: "Godzilla" Blue Oyster Cult (1977)

Halloween Hits: "Fire" The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown (1968)

When I was a little kid, this song's opening used to scare the crap out of me.

Long before Insane Clown Posse, before Marilyn Manson, before King Diamond, before Twisted Sister, before Motley Crue.

Before Kiss, before David Bowie and even before Alice Cooper, there was Arthur Brown in 1968. He originated the kabuki makeup look in rock n' roll - LONG before everyone else.

Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J....Meet your GRANDDADDY!

With the scary makeup and declaration at the beginning of this song, as corny as this song is, it still got banned off many radio stations in the Bible Belt.

Arthur Brown also has the distinction of being the first rock artist to explore fear as a main topic of his albums, also LONG before all the other kabuki-coated imitators that followed him.....

Botan Rice Candy

One of my favourite candies since I was a little kid, Botan Rice Candy was unqiue because of it's clear inner wrapper. It melted in your mouth. It was very popular with kids in the '70s. And the box still looks the same as we remember it when we were kids.

It also came with cool Japanese stickers that I used to stick all over my Pee-Chee folders in school......

You can still find it today in most Asian supermarkets......

Bizarro World.....