"Please Don't Ask Me To Go Away/With Every Beat of My Heart" Shawn (1971)

It's like this; You remember an old record and you finally drop everything and go on a mission.

The record in question came to our family in a box of 45s my uncle gave my mom. He worked for an amusement company which serviced jukeboxes. Every now and then, he'd bring us a box of random 45s. There were a few well worn hits ("Ode To Billie Joe" Bobbie Gentry, "I Love You" by People) and a few lesser Jeannie C. Riley and Otis Redding songs. But one 45 in particular stuck out.

It was a single released on Kapp Records in September of 1971 at the peak of the Donny Osmond craze shortly after he struck teenybopper gold with his cover version of Steve Lawrence's "Go Away Little Girl".

The artist was someone (or some group) named Shawn. Who this monosyllabic Shawn was is completely unknown as far as verifiability goes. I simply hit dead ends everywhere I go trying to track down any deeper session information.

The A-Side was an answer song to "Go Away Little Girl", titled "Please Don't Ask Me To Go Away"

The B-Side was also a cover version. "With Every Beat of My Heart", which was probably better known as a 1970 song from Josie & The Pussycats.

Both of the Shawn songs had some popularity, the novelty A-side of course. But Shawn's B-side cover of "With Every Beat of My Heart" appeared on the 1995 Varese Sarabande compilation CD Bubblegum Classics Volume Two.

The A-Side, "Please Don't Ask Me To Go Away", remains available only on the original Kapp 45.

From the number of these Shawn singles with holes drilled in the label area, which is nearly every copy I have ever seen, it didn't do very well in sales as most "answer songs" tend not to. Drilling holes in the 45 RPM label area or cutting a corner of an album was a practice amongst record labels with returned stock of records that didn't sell initially to prevent retailers from reselling them at full price. These records were what occupied the "cut-out" or "budget bins" for $2.98 or lower in record shops.

But a look at the credits on the single reveals two important clues; Producer Danny Janssen and arranger Jimmie Haskell. Janssen had produced the original Josie & The Pussycats album and was the producer of several early '70s TV based pop acts including The Partridge Family and The Brady Bunch LPs. Jimmie Haskell was a pop arranger, best known for his TV work as well as with '60s pop band The Grass Roots. He also arranged horns and strings on Blondie's Autoamerican album.


It was pretty much a one-off novelty single to cash in a pop fad as "Go Away Little Girl" was one of the biggest hits of 1971.

Shawn never had a follow-up single or released a full album. And was never heard from again.

Chipmunk Punk (Excelsior/Pickwick, 1980)

In the late 1970s, it seemed like The Chipmunks franchise was all but dead.

Ross Bagdasarian Sr., the Chipmunks creator had passed away in 1972 and aside from various licensed holiday repackagings for budget labels such as Mistletoe/Springboard, there was no new Chipmunks music in that cold, lonely decade.

Liberty Records had folded into United Artists in 1968 and UA wasn't as fond of these rodents as Liberty.

The '70s were a real low point for the Chipmunks. And to add insult to sad loss, a religious producer/musician named Floyd Robinson created something called Charlie The Hamster. A smug, born-again knockoff that served no other purpose other than to remind us of how much we really missed the actual Chipmunks.

 Charlie The Hamster Sings The Ten Commandments (Singcord, 1977) is a headache inducing Christian market knockoff of the Chipmunks franchise. Somehow, Robinson and his hamster forgot about Commandment #8.....   

But by 1980, the Chipmunks really needed a makeover and it was up to Ross Bagdasarian Jr. to carry the Chipmunks torch into the '80s. So he created Chipmunk Punk. And yes, even Yours Truly owned a copy.

Chipmunk Punk wasn't actual punk rock music per se. If you came here looking for some hysterical Chipmunk versions of The Sex Pistols, Anti-Nowhere League, The Ramones or The Dead Boys, you better move on.

But you did get Chipmunk covers of rock songs from The Knack (three songs were Knack covers!), Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, Blondie, The Cars, Billy Joel, Linda Ronstadt and Queen. Sanitized of course (The Knack's "Good Girls Don't" was cleaned up - this is a kids record after all.)

The album was a surprising success and went Gold (the first Chipmunks album to do so.) The album was inspired by a DJ from Los Angeles rock station KMET-FM who played Blondie's "Call Me" at twice normal speed and jokingly called it "the new Chipmunks record".

Chipmunk Punk reintroduced the Chipmunks to a new generation and led to several follow up albums and a new Saturday morning cartoon series in the '80s and they're still active today.

"Hello Kitty" Avril Lavigne (2014)

When I first heard this song, I knew it was going to happen. Like radioactive debris from Fukushima, J-Pop was going to wash up on our shores sooner or later. Or maybe it was an advertisement for Kawaii Crush that somehow escaped the security of the Saturday morning TV kids show block.

Then I found out who sang it.

And yes, her husband Chad Kroeger (a.k.a. that Nickelback guy) co-wrote and produced this. After talking with some Canadian friends, we mutually agreed Canada is on it's way to a diplomatic crisis if they don't get these two under control. 

Watching this video kinda almost makes you want to write an apropos answer song back to her. You know. Something that starts out with "Chill out, what you yellin' for/Lay back, it's all been done before...."

But a song like this begs to be parodied. Luckily, it has...

Milton The Pop Tart Toaster

 

 1975 TV Commercial

Take 10 Minutes To Learn The Metric Way!

Ahhh......the metric system. To this day the US, Burma (Myanmar) and Liberia are the only nations in the world who have not formally adopted the metric system.

While the US has authorized the use of the metric system since 1866, outside of science and a few other places, it was largely ignored. In 1975, Congress authorized a ten year plan for national conversion. Which seemed like a good idea.  Canada and Mexico already adopted it

And PSAs like this began appearing. (I remember watching this - my elementary school teachers were (quite reluctantly) trying to teach it and I tried to explain it to my mom and how nearly every country in the world uses it and now the US was changing over. She rolled her eyes and said with deadpan sarcasm "Wow. And all this time, I thought we won the war.....")

Today you find some uses of the metric system. Namely this:

 

And along the borders for our Canadian and Mexican friends

Speed limit sign in Blaine, WA.....just a few meters over the border.......

 

 And virtually all retail food/drink and household products in America have both standard (or imperial) and metric measurements listed on their containers. Wine and spirit bottles are also metrically portioned. And it's ubiquitous in the illegal drug trade. Foreign imported bikes also use metric nuts and bolts (I found this out with my old Peugeot 10 speed.)

So what happened?

Simple, for the most part, we Americans resisted. In fact, the government gave up around 1982 and closed the metric conversion office when then President Reagan made the first sweeping wave of government cutbacks, ending all funding for a national conversion.

However there are still a few hopeful holdouts. But it's doubtful Americans will ever convert.   

Bad Saturday Morning Cartoons Of The '70s

The Brady Kids Meet Wonder Woman

I can just imagine this. Several ABC-TV programming honchos are sitting at a large table in a conference room, snorting a mountain of cocaine while trying to come up with new Saturday morning cartoon ideas.

Suddenly one of them jumps up and says "I'VE GOT IT! Why not make a cartoon with the kids from The Brady Bunch....and Wonder Woman!"

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

The Osmonds

The Osmonds were at their commercial peak in 1972. So Rankin-Bass, following the EXACT same formula of their successful Jackson 5ive cartoon, decided to recycle that into this show. And I do mean RECYCLE......

Forgotten Breakfast Cereals

Here's three long forgotten breakfast cereals. One very cool, one very weird and one that should never have seen a table:

Croonchy Stars: Undisputedly the most wacky breakfast cereal box to ever grace a table. The Muppets' Swedish Chef got his own line of cereal in the late '80s with Croonchy Stars. The whole box was covered in wackiness: "No Artificial Colours, No Doorknobs". On the side of the box: "Table Of Contents: Place Contents On Table"

Punch Crunch: This cereal didn't last long in the late '70s. Because even in that more innocent age. many stores refused to stock it and many parents were upset about it because of the gaudy pink box and the even gaudier pink hippo in the sailor suit making googly eyes at the Captain (and God only knows what it was doing with it's left arm.)

Urkel-Os: This cereal should NEVER have happened. Whoever came up with the idea of turning the ANNOYING Steve Urkel of the TV show Family Matters into a cereal probably hasn't worked in promotions since. Secondly, the strawberry/banana flavouring was just AWFUL. The tastes just CLASH in the bowl. Which is probably why this cereal too disappeared soon after it was introduced.......

Classic TV PSAs From The '70s

Electra Woman & Dyna Girl

Part of the Saturday morning Krofft Supershow, with some of the cheesiest special effects in TV history.

It wasn't until some years later I realized how cheesy this show really was when I found out about the Electra Complex. Since then, I've had to bite my tongue every time someone mentioned this show in high school to keep from laughing......

Loved the Electra Car!