The Hollywood Palace starring Diana Ross & The Supremes, Sammy Davis Jr. and The Jackson Five (1969)

Let's drop everything and go back to 1969. This is an episode of The Hollywood Palace, a popular TV variety show in the 1960s. This originally broadcast on October 18, 1969 and starred Diana Ross & The Supremes, Sammy Davis Jr. and The Jackson Five. It's also complete with original commercials!

More episodes of The Hollywood Palace and more great Classic TV can be found at Internet Archive

Self Help Tapes of The 1980s

And here were the results.....

Norelco Santa

"Bay-Hay Bee Doll" The Swingers (JCPenney/RCA Custom, 1966)

A. "Bay-Hay Bee Doll" The Swingers

B. "Bay-Hay Bee Doll (Instrumental)" The Swingers (Links: WFMU's Beware Of The Blog )

Play this record at your own risk. Because once it gets inside your head, you can't get it out.

And in a surprisingly good way. The bass and drum playing are insanely catchy, if the lyrics and vocals are simply awful - even for an early bubblegum rock prototype, as this song seems to be.

This 45 was a complimentary extra with the purchase of it's latest colour-coordinated, polyester/cotton blend sportswear line, The Swingers. However I read on WFMU's page on this record that it was an extra with a doll called Bay-Hay Bee Doll. But I've never seen any evidence of this doll (and I really hope such an evil thing does not exist.)

If The Swingers sound familiar, bear in mind there were literally dozens of bands in 1965/1966 called The Swingers, or some variation (The Swingle Singers, The Swingin' Blue Jeans, The Swingin' Medallions, et al.) I'm guessing "swinger" also didn't quite have the sexual connotations at that time that it would be infamous for throughout the '70s.

The song was written by someone named Warren Parker. However, the musician roster on this track as well as any session information have been lost to time (or more likely, never kept. As it was considered a commercial marketing one-off and not a legitimate band.)  

Seattle's KJET AM 1600

On Memorial Day 1982, Seattle woke up to a pretty AWESOME new radio station.

At Midnight, May 30, 1982, KZOK-AM, a '70s pop station called "Solid Gold 16" dropped it's tired format and became KJET 1600. They signed on the air for the very first time with "I Love Rock N' Roll" Joan Jett & The Blackhearts.

And yes, this was on the AM radio band. The one your wingnut, Thanksgiving-wrecking uncle gets off on these days.

Actually, the correct frequency of KJET was 1590 kHz on the AM band and not 1600, but this was back in the days when digital tuning radios were brand new, very rare and VERY expensive. So most radio stations at that time identified with the next closest number on the analog dial - preferably one that was actually visible on an analog tuning radio dial, such as 1600 in KJET's case. For example, a station on 106.9 MHz would call it's frequency "FM 107" or a station on 92.5, just  "92", "92 FM", etc

KJET specialized in a format that was defined as "New Wave" then, the precursor to Alternative. On that day (which I remember well, I was listening and became HOOKED on this station) you heard The Police, Missing Persons, The Go-Gos, The Clash, Thompson Twins, Joan Jett, Soft Cell, Roxy Music, Devo, Joe Jackson, Human League, The Motels, Jules & The Polar Bears and many other acts of the time on KJET in 1982.


They added more different and increasingly diverse acts to their format over time and plenty of local rock and even some of the earliest Seattle grunge. KJET also introduced Seattle to R.E.M., Kate Bush, Bauhaus, Camper Van Beethoven, 54-40, The Cocteau Twins, Lloyd Cole, Depeche Mode, Erasure, Nina Hagen, Robyn Hitchcock, Siouxsie & The Banshees and countless other alternative rock acts.

Photo: 10 Things 'Zine

KJET also aired nightly live concerts, album features, hard to find imports and local independent rock programming. KJET was also a frequent sponsor of many live concerts.

Inages: KJET Seattle Facebook

Airplay on KJET was just as important as L.A's  KROQ and KITS in San Fransisco for many alternative bands.

Yet sadly, KJET was treated like the bratty stepchild of FM Classic Rocker KZOK and KZOK's then-owners really never liked it from the beginning. But there was really nothing else they could do with it. No other broadcaster wanted to buy the station then because of 1590's spotty daytime signal and they knew it would cost more money to flip it in the long run than stay the course.

KJET, for all it's warts and underachieving ratings (the typical KJET listener wasn't in the demographic ballpark of Arbitron anyway) did have quite a number of dedicated listeners and it was very influential (members of Soundgarden. Mudhoney and Pearl Jam were listeners.)

Image: Pinterest

It's nighttime signal also could be picked up in Eastern Washington and as far north as Alaska, where there were no local alternative rock stations in those areas until the '90s, KJET was there in the '80s, if only via a ghosty, uneven skywave and only after dark. In those areas, KJET was a virtual lifeline for fans of alternative rock. One guy in Spokane once told me how he couldn't wait for night to come so he could listen to his favourite music on KJET. In the pre-internet era, you took what you could get.

Image: Crosscut

Surprisingly, KJET was also automated much of the time and DJs recorded their voice tracks on one tape and the music on another. Sometimes the automation would get out of synch and you heard jocks back announcing songs that didn't come up until later in the playlist!

Yes, it was AM, yes it was scrappy. But it was ours.

KJET wasn't Seattle's first alternative rock station. That distinction belongs to KZAM-AM 1540 (yes, AM again) out of Bellevue, which was "The Rock Of The '80s...Broadcasting In Modern Mono" and they lasted from 1979 to 1981 when it flipped to Smooth Jazz as KJZZ.

Image: KZAM MySpace page

But KJET was the only source of alternative rock for most of the '80s in spite of very worthy FM competition from KYYX-FM 96.5 from 1982 until 1984.

KJET outlived them. But not for long.

(Bob Powers epitomized the attitude and look of radio station managers in the late 1980s.)

KJET lasted 6 years and was suddenly dropped in preparation for a sale of KZOK/KJET in September 1988 in favor of a '50s-'60s oldies format called KQUL or "Kool Oldies" in the hopes of gaining bigger ratings and more AM friendly older listeners. It's last song was "We're Through Being Cool" Devo.

The oldies format was a disaster and in spite of the outcry of thousands of Seattle rock fans, KJET was officially dead and KJET's corporate owners were not bringing it back.

It was three cold years before a new alternative rock station called The End 107.7 signed on in 1991.

AM 1590 was later Seattle's affiliate of the hair metal Z-Rock radio network (as KZOK-AM again) in early 1990 after realizing almost NOBODY was listening to the oldies format and returned to breaking in many local (but grunge rock/thrash metal) acts in the daytime hours and regained some small ratings (1.6), though nowhere near as much as KJET had at it's peak (3.7).

Image: Radio Sticker of The Day

At night and on weekends they returned to the Z-Rock network until October 1993 when Z-Rock dropped all their AM affiliates to go FM only and KZOK decided to sell their AM station.

It simulcasted it's Classic Rock FM sister station KZOK-FM for a year until it was finally sold to a corporate religious broadcaster in 1994, where 1590 AM languishes today as KLFE, another amplitude modulating mouthpiece of the lunatic fringe (or the station your wingnut, Thanksgiving-wrecking uncle is listening to these days.)

Today, the KJET call letters reside at an FM pop station in Aberdeen, WA that has no connection with the original Seattle AM station.

But KJET still has a huge fanbase on the web, who have created tribute sites to this little imperfect, but EXTREMELY influential AM radio station.

Here are a few links to KJET's tribute sites:

KJET 1600 Black Box (Online tribute station with original KJET promos and sweepers)
KJET's Facebook Page
Crosscut article on KJET
10 Things 'Zine: KJET
KJET on Twitter

Rula Lenska

Back in 1979, Alberto VO5 hair products made several American TV commercials with "superstar" Rula Lenska.


There was just one problem. While Rula Lenska was famous as a TV, film and stage actress in the UK, in America she was known as "that woman on the hair spray commercials nobody's ever heard of."

Milton The Pop Tart Toaster

 

 1975 TV Commercial

Kawaii Crush

You know, it's the creepy weird crap they make for little girls these days that really makes me take back every bad thing I ever said about Holly Hobbie.

Or at least Holly Hobbie never wore outsized animal carcasses over bubble gum pink hair. And some of you also have young daughters who have begged you or Santa for this.  

Now look, I know we live in edgier times. But what the hell is Kawaii Crush?

I had to investigate.

Oh dear. For those of you who just ate Christmas candy, you're probably going to need an insulin shot in 4-3-2-1.....

And who sings this soundtrack? Maroon 5? (I can't tell anymore through all the AutoTune they use in commercial pop music these days.)

Finding no answers from YouTube (and Wikipedia has no current entry on it.)

I went to Kawaii Crush's web site.

A Flash video popped up with "What is Kawaii Crush?" above the player and feeling a bit of relief, I watched my relief turn to horror as apparently, these dolls or whatever are, are supposed to be cute and they have cute crushes on cute kitties, cute pandas, cute birds and cute bunnies and cover their craniums in cute cuddly carcasses of cute critters. They live in a world where everything is cute and everyone has a crush. ("Even on candy!")

They have names like Sunny Bunny Hop Hop, Katie Cat Meow Meow, Owlena Hoot Hoot and Amanda Panda Pop.

It's enough to make Hello Kitty look like G.I. Joe.

Fortunately, the web site had a "Grown Ups" link. Unfortunately, it has the only information a parent needs to know from a toy company: Like, Follow, Subscribe and BUY!!

I stopped right here. This is about as far into Kawaii Crush cuteness as I could go without going into catastrophic diabetic shock.

Amazing Japanese Cell Phone TV Commercial

The WPIX-TV Yule Log

Ahhh......Christmas in New York.

Since 1966 (save 1990-2000), the WPIX-TV Yule Log has been gracing NYC TV screens every Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. Continuously and commercial free. Turning RCA console TVs to 60 inch flat screen into instant cozy fireplaces for New Yorkers everywhere.

Why? Well, New York City doesn't have many fireplaces. People mostly live in apartments. So the producers at WPIX-TV thought this would be a nice way to give the illusion of being around a big fireplace without all the fire safety issues of living in a typical New York City apartment building.

It was originally filmed in Gracie Mansion, the home of the mayor of New York. It was originally a 17 second video loop that on repeat, you can see the edit point (the flames suddenly flickered awkwardly.) However the producers removed a fire grate so that the fire could be seen better and a stray spark damaged a nearby antique rug valued at $4,000.

When this loop wore out in 1970, the producers went back to the station film archive to find the master reel. And they couldn't find it! They requested a retake at Gracie Mansion. But the producers were denied. After the rug incident, the mayor's office wanted no more filming of the fireplace at Gracie Mansion.

So the producers searched until they found a similar fireplace - in California!

The 1970 shot was over six minutes in length (and no rugs were destroyed during this filming.)

In the 1980s, commercial VHS video tapes were made of fireplaces similar to the WPIX Yule Log - a testament to the program's influence well beyond the New York City area. 

This program also featured a stereo simulcast of the music on WPIX-FM until 1986.

However in 1989, it was announced The Yule Log would no longer be broadcast on WPIX-TV. Being commercial free, it wasn't making money and the new station manager wasn't having any of that. And for 10 heartless years, New York City TV viewers pleaded with WPIX management to no avail. The Yule Log wasn't seen on WPIX.

In 2000, a web site was created to petition WPIX to bring back The Yule Log. But it was December 2001 (after the 9/11 attacks) when WPIX gave in and The Yule Log returned. Where it's still the most watched program in New York City on Christmas.

The Great Songs Of Christmas (The Goodyear Compilation Set 1961-1977)

You probably don't recognize the name Stanley Arnold. That's a shame. Because he was the mastermind behind the best selling yearly Christmas music compilation album series in history; The Great Songs Of Christmas

You know it was best selling because your parents, grandparents or great-grandparents probably owned a few copies, if not the entire set. And to this very day, you can't thumb through any vinyl LP bin of your local thrift shop without finding at least one of the 1961-1970 Vol.1-10 run.

"Simply put, Stanley Arnold was an idea man. He originally worked for the ad agency Young & Rubicam, then struck out on his own. He didn’t want to start an ad agency, he started an idea agency, coming up with marketing ideas for companies but letting them (or their ad agencies) handle the details themselves. One of those ideas was getting Goodyear to put out an album of Christmas songs. His logic was simple: “Santa Claus never used a tire, but it occurred to me that Christmas had two deep connections with Goodyear. First, everyone is interested in Christmas; second, Goodyear sells many, many tires during the pre-Christmas season. That would be the million dollar idea for Goodyear, I decided: an album of Christmas music.” He was adamant that the album not be one of “cutie” songs like “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” or “Rudolph”, but rather of classic tunes done by quality artists – a collection worthy to be called “The GREAT Songs of Christmas.”

Arnold was savvy business-wise, not just in the idea department. He had Goodyear act as the outlet for the album, but did not require them to actually invest anything in it; that way, Goodyear couldn’t lose a penny on the deal even if no one actually bought the record. But he did have to convince Goodyear to think big: they initially thought 30,000 copies nationwide would be sufficient for Columbia to make; Arnold was thinking 3 million. They eventually compromised at 900,000. The success was proven by a simple act: by December 1, Goodyear ordered its advertising agency to stop all advertising for the record –because there weren’t any left! The print order for the 1962 album was 1.5 million, and almost 2 million for the 1963 album. History repeated itself, and those albums sold out well before Christmas also." - The Great Songs of Christmas from Goodyear 

Beginning in 1961 and well into the '70s, for one dollar and a trip to your Goodyear guy, you could pick up this record and one every year. No need to stick around and kick a tire or two (unless the smell of brand new vulcanized rubber is your thing.) Nothing else to buy.

It was a loss-leader gimmick that worked out so amazingly well, it spawned some imitators (Goodyear rival Firestone had it's own custom line of yearly holiday albums custom made by Columbia's rival RCA Records for "FTP Productions" beginning in 1962.)

The Firestone album series, while a worthy nod had one problem. They initially offered a couple stars across the records and that strategy backfired against Columbia/Goodyear's wider selection. (Firestone's 1966 album was ALL Julie Andrews!)

The Goodyear records also, like K-Tel & Ronco's a decade later, had smaller grooves and selections were edited to fit. (Coincidentally, Columbia would go on to press K-Tel's early '70s albums.)

Look familiar?

Some Goodyear albums also contained exclusive recordings that to this day cannot be found anywhere else.

The Goodyear Series

(1961)

(1962)

 (1963)

(1964)

 (1965)

 (1966)

(1967)

(1968)

(1969)

(1970) Vol. 10 was a "Best of" compilation of the most popular tracks of the previous nine albums, leading most collectors to believe Goodyear was discontinuing the series (they weren't just yet.)

 In 1971, the series did continue...but under different names.

(1972)

(1973)

(1974)

(1975) Distribution switched from Columbia to RCA and featuring mostly RCA artists. And Goodyear's rival Firestone affiliated with Columbia.

(1976) An all Henry Mancini LP

(1977) Perry Como and Eugene Ormandy

 However, other retailers were also interested in releasing their own tie-in packaged compilation albums. JCPenney, Sears, A&P Grocery, Safeway and several others also offered holiday music compilations of their own through the major labels and now Goodyear and Firestone were two of many and sales slumped.

The labels also offered non tie-in compilation albums (sometimes with the same track listing and order as the Goodyear/Firestone albums) available through any retailer through their "Special Product" or "Special Market" divisions.

 The Christmas album loss leader remained popular through the 1980s. By the '90s, production had switched exclusively to cassettes and CDs.

One of the last attempts at a Christmas loss leader series, these cassettes were produced by RCA in 1991 and marketed by Winston cigarettes. They were given away free with the purchase of specially marked 2 pack boxes.

Sources:
http://goodyearchristmas.blogspot.com
http://unforgettablechristmasmusic.blogspot.com

Cristy Lane

 Someone asked me a question the other day "Who is Cristy Lane?"

Well, damn good question really. It seems like the only place people ever know her from is her TV ads. And one might even compare her to a vanity act like Dora Hall. But even though that wouldn't be totally accurate, there's no denying the ubiquitous TV direct marketing campaigns she's had over the last few decades.

But a primer.....

Cristy Lane was a country singer from the '70s. And while she's considered a one hit wonder, peaking with her only #1 in 1980 with a cover of a song called "One Day At A Time", she actually had a few other lesser country hits.

But then she began marketing her gospel music side on TV. And that seemed to be where the money was, as she only had 11 studio albums and 26 compilation albums.

Most of which were sold on these TV ads. All of them featuring "One Day At A Time", either her original recording or a re-recording

But here's another fact, the original version of that song is by Marilyn Sellars, who made it famous in 1974 (the song was actually written by Kris Kristofferson.)

Most people assume Cristy Lane made the original version. But after Cristy Lane had her #1 with it with her relentless TV promotions of that song, that's probably to be expected.

It's not the only song she's covered and promoted to the point of confusion. She covered ABBA's "I Have A Dream", retitled "I Believe In Angels".

She owns a theater in Branson, Missouri and continues to perform today.

Halloween III: Silver Shamrock Commercial

It's almost time kids.......

Thighmaster

One of the most memorable infomercials of the '90s, starring babe-o-rama Suzanne Somers and her new gadget, the Thighmaster.

You can see she was having a great time with this thing. And so does her doctor. Hmmm......

During the height of this infomercial's popularity, Alice In Chains released their classic Dirt album. In the opening lyrics of the first single "Would?", everyone thought they said......

"Help me/I've broken my Thighmaster....."