Pluto TV

Imagine a digital cable/satellite type TV service with channels and shows you’ve never seen before with a great selection of movies that you can take with you and watch anywhere you have an internet connection. And (the sweet part), it’s actually free.

Welcome to Pluto TV. Available on your computer at Pluto TV and on Roku, Android and iOS apps. As well as your Playstation/XBox

Pluto TV is a cord-cutter’s dream. Hundreds of channels, some with programming you’ve never seen before, or haven’t seen in years or even decades. There’s dozens of movie channels in every genre, from documentaries to horror. Sports channels, news channels, and music channels, including digital audio-only channels in genres from Jazz (Cool Ch. 982.) Classic R&B (Pure Soul, Ch, 978) Adult Standards (Ratpack Ch. 974) Hair Metal (The Strip, Ch. 971), etc.

But Pluto isn’t like Comcast (there are caveats.) First, Pluto doesn’t offer your local TV channels. Second, some of the news programming, such as the CNN and the NBC News Pluto channels aren’t live. This won’t do for a hardcore breaking news junkie like me. But if you’re just a casual news watcher, it should be fine. The stories and shows are usually from earlier in the day on the CNN and NBC feeds. There are live feeds of Cheddar and the suspicious RT America. The other thing is a strong high-speed internet connection is vital to the Pluto experience.

The movie channels are mostly 2nd tier films, but still entertaining. (I watched What’s Eating Gilbert Grape for the first time since 1993.) The thing here is most Pluto channel programming - including the on demand movies, have commercials.

There’s food channels, home improvement channels, some religious and a wide selection of sports channels (I’m not a huge sports fan, so I’m guessing the boxing matches at 3am aren’t live either.) Several all comedy, geek, Latinx and children’s programming channels are offered as well.

But if it’s HBO, Showtime and Cinemax you’re looking for, that’s not here. But the Pluto movie channels are acceptable, but the commercial break transitions are a tad jarring. However, the film returns to the last few seconds of the last scene prior to the break. So that helps as you’re running to the kitchen for the bag of chips.

The channels are laid out on a standard digital grid with current/upcoming programming listed. On Roku at first glance, you couldn’t distinguish this from your average cable/satellite grid.

Some of Pluto’s more unique channels:

Ch. 007 Pluto 007 - All classic James Bond films in random order.

Ch. 591 THC (The High Channel) - If you’re into the cannabis lifestyle, THC is your TV. It’s programmed for today’s modern stoner.

Ch. 597 SLOW TV - If you ever fantasized being a Norwegian train engineer, this channel is heaven. 24 hours a day, it’s the cab view of a Norwegian locomotive along the rails of Norway. And that’s it. 24/7.

It’s a nifty sub-cable system if you already have cable. And a decent alternative if you’re off the cord. But the fact you can take Pluto anywhere on your smartphone, tablet, gaming or PC computer makes it a must have in periods of boredom. Just surfing around Pluto is fun. Enjoy!

Do It Debbie's Way (Sterling Entertainment Group/Video Associates, 1983 VHS Tape)

Do It Debbie's Way may sound like the sequel to something you'd find in the darker corner of your video rental store (usually the one behind the beaded curtains.)

The late Debbie Reynolds was one of America's 1950 and 60s sweethearts and a legendary actress and singer. And of course, mom to the late Carrie Fisher. And like many stars in the '80s, she also got into the exercise craze.

But this video wasn't for everybody. You must have a tolerance for '40s style Big Band music. And lots of corny humor attempts. This offering was tailored for a specific audience. Namely the older folks who wanted to lose weight, but didn't want any of that Jane Fonda commie crap (in spite of the fact Jane Fonda was the bourgeois favorite of the '80s.)

Unfortunately, there's no funked up version of "Tammy" (Reynold's 1957 mega hit) to jazzercise to. But you do get to see poor Shelley Winters (in the most awesome sweatshirt ever for this occasion) trying to keep up with Debbie.....

A Random Gallery of Vintage Menus

Warner Bros. Studio Commissary Menu, 1960

Early Chili's menu, 1979

 

Alcatraz Prison Menu, 1946

The Cotton Club, New York City, 1930s

1930s Traveling Movie Theater

                                             (Click on photos to enlarge)

The Star Wars Holiday TV Special

Watch here.

"A Joyous Time Of Year/The B-Side" Marty Feldman (1968)

British comedian Marty Feldman is best remembered by American audiences as Igor in Young Frankenstein. (and his eyes, a product of a bad operation for his Grave's disease as a child.)

Feldman released some UK comedy albums and novelty singles in the late 1960s. This single failed to crack the UK charts and didn't get much (if any) airplay (not many comedy singles do.)

"The B-Side" is a poke at the flipside of a 45 RPM single...

The Homecoming: A Waltons Christmas Story (1971)

The W.C. Fields Battery Tester

"When I Looked At Your Face" Jodie Foster (1977)

1977 French Single Sleeve

1977 German Single Sleeve

1978 German Reissue Sleeve

This single was only released in Europe, where she was living at the time and she starred in the French movie Moi, fleure bleue, (that's Me, Blue Flower (???). The official English title is Stop Calling Me Baby!) She sings on the film's soundtrack, where this song comes from.

She also recorded a French version of this song with a different arrangement.

And finally, the B-side....

Santo Gold

It's 1985 and you're flipping through the late night TV channels, looking for a late movie or some kind of background noise to do whatever else. And you land on some crazy local UHF TV channel. Which is showing this infomercial.

Don't forget your "Scream Bag" (Photo: Peter L. Walsh/Baltimore or Less)

It's right here you wonder what the hell you are watching. And who (or what) the hell is Santo Gold? Is it jewelry? Some unknown rock star with a penchant for randomly screaming his own name? A factory with a boiler room office? A wrestling federation? A horror movie? A paper bag? WHAT?

I remember seeing this infomercial back then and for decades and even now, adjectives still fail me. But we aren't over yet. Here's the second half of the infomercial.

(Photo: Peter L. Walsh/Baltimore or Less)

So here are the basics:

- Santo Gold was cheap steel costume jewelry coated with a microscopically thin coating of gold. People who were considering purchasing these things during the infomercial were encouraged to buy larger sets to sell at flea markets (as opposed at real jewelry stores.) They also came in spools to make custom length necklaces.

Phil Spector saw Santo Gold's look on TV, looked in the mirror and had an epiphany.

 - "Santo Gold", the alleged rock star was Santo Victor Rigatuso. The creator of Santo Gold (the jewelry) and financier of an upcoming B-horror/comedy movie called Blood Circus. Rigatuso also went by the less ethnic sounding Bob Harris (are you still with me?)

To my knowledge, there were no known documented studio recordings by anyone named Santo Gold in 1985 or before. Nothing on the Billboard Top 40/Album Rock charts or radio playlists of 1984/1985 refer to Santo Gold (there was an album by Santana, but nothing from Santo Gold.) Which makes his credentials as "rock star" a stretch. And his music ("?") wasn't even rock. From the infomercials, the song he sings sounds like a jewelry advertisement as sung by Disco Tex & The Sex-O-Lettes.

- Blood Circus was the movie that was to spread the Santo Gold gospel to the masses (once the infomercial blitz had paid off, I assume.) The plot was this; Alien wrestlers come to Earth to fight human wrestlers and promptly devour them before defeating them (rather than the more traditional method of defeating them before devouring them.) The movie was filmed at Baltimore Civic Center (now Royal Farms Arena) and was billed as a wrestling event and movie filming. The audience actually had to pay $10 each to attend. Some bit-part actors were actually paid off only in Santo Gold jewelry!

- The "Scream Bag" was a paper bag. 

We don't know much more about this particular mess beyond that. We honestly don't. There are no known copies of the film and what known footage exists only on the scratchy, pixellated YouTube videos of the infomercials.

Some money from the jewelry came in. But by 1987, he still hadn't found any distribution for Blood Circus. He could have also gone straight to the then very lucrative VHS home video market with Blood Circus (which would have been perhaps the best alternate route.) Rigatuso did not. Finally, there was a showing for one week only at selected Baltimore area theatres. But according to one source, only three people showed up; Two reviewers and an extra from the filming.

When Blood Circus failed to get anywhere. Rigatuso later went into finance with a paper credit card for $49.99. Redeemable only for the Santo Gold jewelry he was probably still up to here with by then. He later began advertising alleged $2000 chunks of a millionaire's estate for an unbelievable $52 each.

I guess it was unbelievable, as he was finally convicted of mail fraud in 1989 and sentenced to 10 months in prison. That would be the end of the whole Santo Gold fiasco, right?

Nope.

In 2008 he finally recorded that elusive album we never saw in the '80s, titled I Am The Real Santo Gold. (No word from Slim Shady - aka Eminem.) One of the songs was a tribute to Donald Trump ("You're Fired") and another was titled "Obama Stomp".





In 2009, a female pop singer named Santogold was forced to change her stage name to Santigold, due to legal pressure from Rigatuso.

And then there was this. 

There was an ad that appeared on eBay in 2011. The ad was selling a 35mm film copy of the Blood Circus movie. And starting bid was $21 million. Reserve price? $750 million.

Let's simplify this; The 1997 movie Titanic and one of the biggest grossing movies of all time costed $200 million to make. Blood Circus reportedly costed $2 million.

So until there is a complete, viewable and verified print of this film (and expectations considerably lowered.), the legend of Santo Gold's Blood Circus will only remain in cheesy '80s obscurity.

More on Santo Gold:

"Fools Gold" (Baltimore or Less)

"Santo Gold & "Blood Circus" (Baltimore or Less)

Santo Gold's Blood Circus (WFMU's Beware of The Blog)

Santo Gold (Infomercial Hell)

Blood Circus (film) (Wikipedia)

Santogold (Official Website) 

"The Lamp of Memory" Yvonne DeCarlo (1942)

In 1942, Yvonne DeCarlo, then 20 years old, a rising star and future Lily Munster recorded a musical film called a soundie, which are pretty much the very earliest music videos. They would be shown in theaters sometimes, or in coin operated jukeboxes and you could also order them on 16mm film for home showings.

More on Yvonne DeCarlo's singing career.

Gary Owens Aircheck KMPC September 19,1970

The late Gary Owens, who passed away February 12 was unquestionably one of the world's finest broadcasting voices. From his days at KMPC 710 AM in Los Angeles, which aired what was called a "Middle of The Road" music format.

Middle of The Road, (or MOR) was about as family safe a radio format as you could get. Those "family safe" Christian Adult Contemporary stations today sound downright raunchy compared to the slick, genteel sound of Middle of The Road. Lots of soft pop songs, with a few perky instrumentals. Musically, it was barely passable if you were in your '20s and something Grandma could put up with as well. In 1970.

But what held it all together was the personalities on these radio stations. The smooth, stylish voices on these MOR radio stations. In Seattle, we had Robert E. Lee Hardwick on KVI, Larry Nelson on KOMO, and Phil Harper (who appeared on many Seattle stations and many formats from country to jazz.)

And Gary Owens had no shortage of that. His phrasing, his enunciation, they were as stylish as they came. His panache unforgettable. And one TV came back to time and time again, like another recently departed radio star, Casey Kasem.

Who will replace them? I just don't know......

FM (NOT THE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK)

In 1978, a movie called "FM" was released.

It was a really good movie, although running on the cliché (yet true and sadly timeless) theme of a wildly successful radio station that gets interference from bean counting management, utterly clueless and indifferent to the people that made the station successful who expect their input to make the station even more successful. Which more often than not ends up trashing the station.

I'm not going to spoil it beyond that, but I would put this movie in my Netflix queue if I were you. FM was also the inspiration behind the legendary WKRP In Cincinnati.

FM also had one of the best soundtracks of any movie of the 1970s. It was a compilation loaded with original hits from the original artists on a two LP album set. In their full length album versions, not edited single versions (which besides FM radio's sound quality, the full versions of songs were also what made FM radio great in the 1970s.) And certainly not like a K-tel and Ronco record. The soundtrack was mastered by Gary Katz, the golden ears behind Steely Dan's classic '70s albums. It was truly one of the very best sounding soundtrack albums I have ever heard and MCA Records spared no expense in getting this right. 

On the flipside, budget record label Pickwick Records tried to cash in on the popularity of FM's soundtrack with their typically crummy knockoff record of incredibly LOUSY cover versions of the FM soundtrack's hit songs.

 

....and I do mean lousy. 

Listen to this hysterically bad cover of The Eagle's "Life In The Fast Lane"

"Zoo Be Zoo Be Zoo" Sophia Loren (1961)

Listen here

Usually, actors make lousy singers. And singers usually make lousy actors. And often, what's beautiful visually needs a LOT of studio gimmickery to pass for acceptable aurally.

There are exceptions.

Sophia Loren looked gorgeous AND could carry a tune, as she did in this 1961 classic.

Enjoy. 

Co-Star: The Record Acting Game (Co-Star/Roulette, 1957/1977)

In the late 1950s, somebody at Roulette Records got an idea. And Roulette Records had lots of ideas. Being mobster founded and funded and all. If you know what I mean (nudge-wink). 

 

This was also a surprisingly well known secret, even in the scandal-ridden 1950s. But everybody was getting too worked up over phantom communists in Hollywood to bother to notice the corruption going on amongst the mobsters in New York.
But if there was a one-up to Roulette, they were remarkably cutting edge for their time. They gave their artists total creative freedom in their sessions. But there was a price to pay for that. The Mob isn't 100% benevolent, you know....Just a little off the top. (In the case of Tommy James & The Shondells, it was $30,000,000 off a $40,000,000 career.)


They released this awesome series of 15 vinyl LPs in 1957. Each features the named actor reading one part in a two-character scene, and includes a script with both parts so that the listener can play the scene opposite the star. A terrific novelty item, probably more fun now than it was originally. 


Some of the actors were superstars, others were stars who have begun to fade. And even a few of Roulette's own recording artists (who weren't necessarily actors in their own right, such as Jimmie Rodgers and Pearl Bailey.) After all, when you're working for a record company owned by The Mob, who you gonna say no to?


It must have been popular with young boomers, because Roulette Records reissued the entire series in 1977 on it's 20th anniversary. Sadly, it never got a further reissue to CD.

The Fernando Lamas record is close as I can come to a complete package. Here's a Here's a link to the MP3s. But unfortunately. I could not find a script for any of these titles with matching MP3 dialogue life of me. But maybe there's a brand new way of doing this: Create YOUR OWN responses to the dialogue. By the way, Fernando Lamas is the father of eternal chick magnet, Lorenzo Lamas.

Here are a few of the stars you'll be "acting" with.....(You'll ALWAYS sound better than that screechy drama chick in high school drama class you knew, TRUST ME.) 

 

(CLICK ON PHOTO) This is an example of the stock back cover Roulette used for these records. Only the performer and session information are changed from each album.

Some Photos of Mid-Century Antiques

Taken in Las Vegas today by reader/contributor Jeffery Lee Hammond.