"Yellow Submarine" Milton Berle (1970)

"Bras On 45" Ivor Biggun & The D-Kups (Dead Badger, 1981)

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In 1981, a Dutch group called Stars On 45 made a horrifying disco-fied medley of Beatles songs that actually was a worldwide smash hit in June of that year (don't laugh, it actually went to #1 in the US.)

This is still the longest song title ever for a 45 RPM single at 41 words....

Bear in mind, these weren't the original Beatles recordings stringed together (EMI would NEVER have allowed that), but the Stars On 45s were pretty good imitators (or at least significantly better than anything you hear at the karaoke bar down the street) and they did fool quite a few people.

The success of Stars On 45 made them ripe for parody, which UK TV personality Ivor Biggun   did with "Bras on 45". Ivor Biggun's parody on reached #50 in the UK and never charted in the US, but it was widely played on The Dr. Demento Show.

"Is That All There Is?" Cristina (Ze/Island, 1980)

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My favourite version of the Peggy Lee classic. Cristina Monet's twisted remake was also featured on the first KROQ Rodney on The Roq compilation (which I believe was the only release of this song in the US.) It was a "mystery" track, final cut on Side 2 and credited to "New York" with the track title "Surprise!"

"The Kwella Stroll" Lou Berrington & The African Kamp (Parkway,1966)

 

This song, "The Kwella Stroll" is the HILARIOUS B-Side of a tune called "The Kwella" (Which was actually a fad dance in 1966)

Just play this. All the way through... 

"Bay-Hay Bee Doll" The Swingers (JCPenney/RCA Custom, 1966)

A. "Bay-Hay Bee Doll" The Swingers

B. "Bay-Hay Bee Doll (Instrumental)" The Swingers (Links: WFMU's Beware Of The Blog )

Play this record at your own risk. Because once it gets inside your head, you can't get it out.

And in a surprisingly good way. The bass and drum playing are insanely catchy, if the lyrics and vocals are simply awful - even for an early bubblegum rock prototype, as this song seems to be.

This 45 was a complimentary extra with the purchase of it's latest colour-coordinated, polyester/cotton blend sportswear line, The Swingers. However I read on WFMU's page on this record that it was an extra with a doll called Bay-Hay Bee Doll. But I've never seen any evidence of this doll (and I really hope such an evil thing does not exist.)

If The Swingers sound familiar, bear in mind there were literally dozens of bands in 1965/1966 called The Swingers, or some variation (The Swingle Singers, The Swingin' Blue Jeans, The Swingin' Medallions, et al.) I'm guessing "swinger" also didn't quite have the sexual connotations at that time that it would be infamous for throughout the '70s.

The song was written by someone named Warren Parker. However, the musician roster on this track as well as any session information have been lost to time (or more likely, never kept. As it was considered a commercial marketing one-off and not a legitimate band.)  

Co-Star: The Record Acting Game (Co-Star/Roulette, 1957/1977)

In the late 1950s, somebody at Roulette Records got an idea. And Roulette Records had lots of ideas. Being mobster founded and funded and all. If you know what I mean (nudge-wink). 

 

This was also a surprisingly well known secret, even in the scandal-ridden 1950s. But everybody was getting too worked up over phantom communists in Hollywood to bother to notice the corruption going on amongst the mobsters in New York.
But if there was a one-up to Roulette, they were remarkably cutting edge for their time. They gave their artists total creative freedom in their sessions. But there was a price to pay for that. The Mob isn't 100% benevolent, you know....Just a little off the top. (In the case of Tommy James & The Shondells, it was $30,000,000 off a $40,000,000 career.)


They released this awesome series of 15 vinyl LPs in 1957. Each features the named actor reading one part in a two-character scene, and includes a script with both parts so that the listener can play the scene opposite the star. A terrific novelty item, probably more fun now than it was originally. 


Some of the actors were superstars, others were stars who have begun to fade. And even a few of Roulette's own recording artists (who weren't necessarily actors in their own right, such as Jimmie Rodgers and Pearl Bailey.) After all, when you're working for a record company owned by The Mob, who you gonna say no to?


It must have been popular with young boomers, because Roulette Records reissued the entire series in 1977 on it's 20th anniversary. Sadly, it never got a further reissue to CD.

The Fernando Lamas record is close as I can come to a complete package. Here's a Here's a link to the MP3s. But unfortunately. I could not find a script for any of these titles with matching MP3 dialogue life of me. But maybe there's a brand new way of doing this: Create YOUR OWN responses to the dialogue. By the way, Fernando Lamas is the father of eternal chick magnet, Lorenzo Lamas.

Here are a few of the stars you'll be "acting" with.....(You'll ALWAYS sound better than that screechy drama chick in high school drama class you knew, TRUST ME.) 

 

(CLICK ON PHOTO) This is an example of the stock back cover Roulette used for these records. Only the performer and session information are changed from each album.

Big Mouth Billy Bass

Invented in 1998 and sold originally in Bass Pro Shops, the Big Mouth Billy Bass was THE redneck novelty item of the early 2000s. They were originally equipped with motion sensors and when an unsuspecting person would walk by, the Big Mouth Billy Bass would wiggle it's tail, turn it's head towards the person and sing cover versions of "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and "Take Me To The River". The motion sensor was later replaced by a red button (as I heard it, after some people with heart conditions and anxiety disorders had complained.)

"The Chipmunk Song" The Chipmunks w/ Canned Heat (1968)