Kellogg's Kream Krunch Cereal

Ad copy above reads  "Now - Ice Cream in a nourishing cereal. Crisp chunks of real ice cream (freeze-dried) right in with the good grain. The kids won't believe it. (Maybe you won't either!) But thanks to freeze-drying, we've taken the cold out of ice cream, made it crisp and crunch, so it keeps without refrigeration right in a package of cereal. And what a cereal! A crisp, nourishing blend of hearty corn, wheat and oats that's a treat by itself. With the ice cream it's... well taste it see for yourself. At your grocer's now."

It really seemed like a good idea.

If anything gets the kids bugging their parents to the point of insanity in the cereal aisle, it's a cereal that contains something they really like. Raisins? Yuk. What kid really liked raisins in anything?

And all kids love ice cream. Especially that then-new freeze-dried space ice cream the astronauts get to eat that everyone on TV was talking about back then.

Soooooo, Kellogg's executives thought they had a winner in their new cereal, Kream Krunch. It was a Cheerios type cereal with bits of freeze dried ice cream in Strawberry, Vanilla and Orange flavours (though surprisingly, Kream Krunch didn't have a chocolate flavour.)

But ice cream for breakfast...Was America an awesome place in 1965 or what?

And it really did sound good.....But that's as far as Kream Krunch got. The flipside was the freeze-dried ice cream melted into a super gross, sticky goo after sitting in milk for a few minutes, so you had to eat it fast or without milk. (I eat my cereal dry with a glass of milk on the side to wash it down - That's how passionately I hate soggy cereal.)

Parents complained to Kellogg's, demanding refunds because when the freeze dried ice cream melted, kids would stop eating the cereal. And soon, they wouldn't touch the box at all and it would have to be thrown out. Kream Krunch was discontinued in 1966. And Kellogg's (or any other cereal company) never attempted another freeze-dried ice cream cereal.

Lord Sutch And Heavy Friends (Cotillion, 1970)

Images: Discogs

Lord Sutch and Heavy Friends was named in a 1998 BBC poll as the worst album of all time, a status it also held in Colin Larkin's book The Top 1000 Albums of All Time.

Is it really that bad?

You decide...

Kellogg's Just Right Cereal

Kellogg's Just Right cereal was introduced in the USA in 1985. My mom bought a box and I remember us trying this, only getting a few bites in until we had to dump the rest of our bowls into the trash. It was nasty.

My peers in high school had the same opinion and we called it Just Sucks. The cereal was basically a fruitcake in a box. It had bran flakes, corn flakes, dates, raisins, almond bits and oats and pretty much targeted at the yuppie bunch.

This cereal had a massive ubiquitous TV advertising campaign for it (perhaps the largest I had ever seen for a cereal) and discount offers that moms of that time couldn't resist. But everyone under the age of 30 hated this commercial as much as the cereal because it was guaranteed to pop up at least 4 times an hour during daytime TV, it was nearly as bad during prime time and late at night too in 1985. It was everywhere on every channel.

But unbeknownst to the rest of us, this commercial would ironically be the launch pad for the career of one of the biggest pop stars of the '90s.


(For years, I thought Tori Amos' 1994 hit "Cornflake Girl" was her way of venting her angst over this commercial and the disgusting taste of that cereal that never seemed to go away. An interpretive sort of thing. But that wasn't the case. The interpretive venting over this disgusting cereal was probably Y Kant Tori Read.) 

Just Right cereal was discontinued in America in the early '90s, but it's still sold in Australia.

   

Bonanza '88' Stores

Bonanza '88' Stores were a discount chain that dominated much of the Western half of the US from 1967 to 1987.

They began as an all 88¢ store. Everything in the store, 88¢. Or 2 for 88¢ (many cheap budget label record albums were offloaded this way.) Over time, they began offering a mix of higher and lower price items.

In the late 1980s, Bonanza '88' was renamed simply Bonanza and also offered a pharmacy. They were bought out by the Seattle based Bartell chain in the late '80s.

Go 'n Joy Stores

Outside of Vancouver, WA Go 'n Joy store, circa 1981. Image: WSU Libraries Digital Collection

From the outside of it, Go 'n Joy convenience stores looked like your typical early 1980s convenience store chain.
 

As well as the inside of it. They made fresh deli sandwiches, had a full selection of potato chips, beer, candy and soda. As well as various other quick must-buys like milk, bread and eggs. They had a cold soda/Icee fountain. There were a couple of arcade video games in the front of the store. Pretty average stuff for a convenience store chain in 1981.

Nothing really seemed out of the ordinary. Except that this chain literally went from idea to 17 locations that sprang up within a period of a few months in western Washington State in early 1981 (something even your most ambitious retail chain doesn't do.) They had further plans of expansion of up to 30 stores at this time.

What are these places?, people began to ask. And how did they get so big, so fast? It seemed pretty strange. But nothing to be concerned over really, just odd.

The Washington State Liquor Control Board wanted to know too, as they were licensing each store for beer and wine sales (Hard liquor was still sold in state-run liquor stores at that time.) Their concern was knowing who actually owned the chain.

But after wandering through a maze of various shell companies and people who seemed to change positions within the company on a dime, the investigations revealed one common link; the various operatives of Go 'n Joy, from distributors to several franchise operators revealed ties to Rev. Sun Myung Moon and his Unification Church.

The Unification Church is a religion with a large worldwide membership (known as "Moonies"), but is still considered a cult by many. But this was a cult with a difference. While most cults were considered dirty Commie free-love hippies who are against capitalism by most people in post 1960s America, the Unification Church not only embraced capitalism, but made it front and center in it's various operations. They hated Communism. Members were clean and upstanding people.

One of my neighbours was a Moonie. He drove a nice car and owned a restaurant. At no time during my first two months of knowing him had I ever suspected he was a Moonie. But one day, religion snuck into our conversation and he casually mentioned he was a member of the Unification church. I wasn't upset or nervous about it. He didn't try to convert me. It was his thing, not mine.

But alternative religions were not looked upon kindly in 1981. We were a nation still in shock over the 1978 People's Temple mass suicide and anti-cult groups sprang up for families to "deprogram" other family members who were inducted into them.

The revelation of this chain being owned by the Moonies led to assorted accusations of the true intent of Go 'n Joy stores. Some parents believed the Unification Church was actively using the store chain as a front to lure young people into the religion.

While many young people (including myself at that time) occasionally stopped at a Go 'n Joy for a burrito and a soda, maybe played a video game, no one there ever gave me any leaflets. Nor do I remember seeing any. No one there ever asked me if I heard of Reverend Moon, that kind of thing. They wouldn't have lasted ten minutes if they did in that more religiously partisan time.

Unable to control the negative publicity, the Go 'n Joy chain was quietly sold. Some locations were sold to 7-Eleven, which used some locations as expansion outlets for their then recent acquired Hoagy's Corner chain of deli/convenience stores. Others to independent operators. In 1982, Rev. Moon was convicted of tax fraud and sentenced to 18 months in federal prison.

The Unification Church still owns lots of businesses. But today, the same outrage there was in 1981 doesn't exist now as people today are less concerned with the religion of a business operator and more eager for a good deal.

Rev. Sun Myung Moon passed away in 2012.