Now That's What I Call Yacht Rock!

In the late 1970s and early '80s, the airwaves were filled with a certain vanilla latte type of music nobody really had a name for back then.

It was a super polished style of slick, studio perfect pop music that's mostly associated with acts like Kenny Loggins, Steely Dan and Michael McDonald era Doobie Brothers. But acts like Hall & Oates, Chicago, Pablo Cruise, James Ingram, Toto, Christopher Cross, Boz Scaggs, Nicolette Larson, George Benson, Dr. Hook and others were also making this type of music. Or converting briefly to it.

And it wasn't necessarily limited to any one subset of bands and artists. Although it always had a core of artists that tended to appear on each others albums - namely Michael McDonald, Steely Dan, Kenny Loggins and members of Toto. But many other major pop acts of that time period are guilty of contributing to it in some way. Including Elton John, The Bee Gees, The Eagles Fleetwood Mac, Barbara Streisand, Cliff Richard and Smokey Robinson.

But thanks to a later generation of lovable hipster music fans (they just get it. don't they?) This music finally has the proper name those of us who actually grew up in the era of this music never really had for it; Yacht Rock.

Yacht Rock was what was left when you removed the Anne Murray, Barry Manilow, Melissa Manchester, Neil Diamond and the rest of the torchier ballads and disco crossovers from the then-current Adult Contemporary radio playlists of that period.

Yacht Rock is also the name of a hilarious 2005 internet mockumentary series about this era of music. Originally made for internet video site Channel 101, the series is one of the most popular online video series ever and was the subject of a June 2015 article in Rolling Stone. And the source of the very name Yacht Rock.


Yacht Rock as a genre also connotes a recurring theme in the lyrics and album covers of these songs, usually about sailing. But also the fact that many yacht owners simply loved laid back, easy going pop music when out for a sail (and that's not a stereotype. Having some friends who are yacht owners on Puget Sound and sailed with them on day cruises, I can testify to this.)

And Yacht Rock today has made a comeback, mostly by way of the internet series and younger music fans rediscovering these old songs and the artists behind them (the resurgence in vinyl LP records in the last decade to today has also contributed.) But also in the fact that this was once the most familiar type of music on the radio for two decades. And the older fans really miss it.

And I confess, it's a guilty pleasure for me too sometimes....

"TV" The Judy's (1981)

A lost indie pop classic, "TV" was a song by The Judy's, Texas' (Pearland, specifically) most famous New Wave band.

This song got airplay on some wavy Seattle radio stations and this was where I first heard this song. But being on a local Houston area independent label, getting a copy of their album Washarama was nearly impossible since the label didn't have any national distribution. But The Judy's were unquestionably popular in the Lone Star state in the early 1980s. Their other hits included "Guyana Punch", "Her Wave", "Grass is Greener" and "Milk"

And "TV" is perhaps the only song to ever mention Allied TV Rentals, which was a famous national TV rental company, where you rented TVs by the week. A model that grew into today's rent-to-own businesses, such as Rent-A-Center, ColorTyme and Aaron's. Allied TV Rentals itself however went out of business nationally in 1987.

In spite of some worthy press and incredibly catchy singles, The Judy's never got the national fame and chart success they deserved. However, they still maintain a website where you can order their albums. 

  

Holy Toledo!

Photo: Katie Rausch/The Toledo Blade

Meet Opal Covey.

She's running for mayor of Toledo, OH.

Well, actually it's kind of a long story. You see, according to Opal Covey, she is supposed to be mayor of Toledo. Right now. But for the past few elections, they have all been "rigged" against her, in spite of Covey never receiving more than 400 votes in the last mayoral elections she's run in.

Covey's platform is an interesting one to say the least. It consists of building an amusement park on three acres of land in downtown Toledo (surrounded by a parking garage which sits on far more space than this entire proposed amusement park.) And others on similarly sized lots of vacant property in downtown Toledo, claiming it would somehow make Toledo a hot tourist destination.

I can't even fit my attitude on three acres.

Yet she insists there's enough room for several full size carnival rides, arenas, ticket booths, concessions, game booths and porta-potties on these three acres. As well as the thousands of visitors she's expecting to flock to this particular amusement park (did I mention all this is supposed to be on three acres?)

O...K then. But folks, you ain't seen nothing yet.

A few weeks ago on Fred LeFebvre's morning show on Toledo news/talk station WSPD, Opal Covey was invited to discuss her plan on his show. And when Fred asked her to be specific about the physics and means of this particular amusement park in comparison to outlying amusement parks in the Toledo area, she...

Well, never mind. Just....just play it.

Video courtesy of 1370/92.1 WSPD Toledo/iHeartMedia

This wasn't the end of it. As LeFebvre was escorting Opal Covey out of the station building after the interview. Well, this happened. Perhaps the damnedest thing you'll see all year.

Adjectives will utterly fail you.

Video courtesy of 1370/92.1 WSPD Toledo/iHeartMedia

Wow. Just....Wow.

But just for the sake of sheer fun, let's pretend she was actually elected mayor of Toledo. What could we expect from an Opal Covey administration?

- Well, needless to say, Toledo's Public Access TV channel will get a HUGE ratings boost. Why watch any of these crappy new sitcoms on the broadcast/cable TV networks or Netflix when the funniest damn comedy in America is the city council meetings on Toledo Public Access TV?

- The natural laws of geometry, physics, dimension and space (and possibly gravity) are about to be overturned by the Covey administration to accommodate Mayor Covey's three acre amusement park plan. Suck it Nye and deGrasse-Tyson.

- Wiping the dust off your feet will become the latest dance craze.

- Local signs in the Toledo area will be in English and Tongues.

I think this very well may be Opal Covey's year. With all the media attention she's been getting recently, she may very well crack that 400 vote ceiling.

I'm not a fan of Republican politicians (they're all bull moose nuts as far as I'm concerned.) But if I lived in Toledo, she'd definitely have my vote. If only for the amusement value in Opal Covey alone, regardless of her amusement park plans.

We'll all just have to wait until next Tuesday to find out how she fared. I'll keep you updated on the Facebook page. Be sure to Like. There's links to current news stories in the world of pop culture and oddities as well as vintage photos and other memorabilia.

And good luck to Opal Covey....

Chipmunk Punk (Excelsior/Pickwick, 1980)

In the late 1970s, it seemed like The Chipmunks franchise was all but dead.

Ross Bagdasarian Sr., the Chipmunks creator had passed away in 1972 and aside from various licensed holiday repackagings for budget labels such as Mistletoe/Springboard, there was no new Chipmunks music in that cold, lonely decade.

Liberty Records had folded into United Artists in 1968 and UA wasn't as fond of these rodents as Liberty.

The '70s were a real low point for the Chipmunks. And to add insult to sad loss, a religious producer/musician named Floyd Robinson created something called Charlie The Hamster. A smug, born-again knockoff that served no other purpose other than to remind us of how much we really missed the actual Chipmunks.

 Charlie The Hamster Sings The Ten Commandments (Singcord, 1977) is a headache inducing Christian market knockoff of the Chipmunks franchise. Somehow, Robinson and his hamster forgot about Commandment #8.....   

But by 1980, the Chipmunks really needed a makeover and it was up to Ross Bagdasarian Jr. to carry the Chipmunks torch into the '80s. So he created Chipmunk Punk. And yes, even Yours Truly owned a copy.

Chipmunk Punk wasn't actual punk rock music per se. If you came here looking for some hysterical Chipmunk versions of The Sex Pistols, Anti-Nowhere League, The Ramones or The Dead Boys, you better move on.

But you did get Chipmunk covers of rock songs from The Knack (three songs were Knack covers!), Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, Blondie, The Cars, Billy Joel, Linda Ronstadt and Queen. Sanitized of course (The Knack's "Good Girls Don't" was cleaned up - this is a kids record after all.)

The album was a surprising success and went Gold (the first Chipmunks album to do so.) The album was inspired by a DJ from Los Angeles rock station KMET-FM who played Blondie's "Call Me" at twice normal speed and jokingly called it "the new Chipmunks record".

Chipmunk Punk reintroduced the Chipmunks to a new generation and led to several follow up albums and a new Saturday morning cartoon series in the '80s and they're still active today.

September 23, 2015....Did You Miss It?.....

....so did the rest of us.

Apparently, there was supposed to be a meteor or an asteroid crashing into planet Earth. And God and his angels would blow their trumpets and we'll all be treated to the end of all humanity in a horrific catastrophe with a nice jazzy soundtrack. Or something to that effect.

The internet is filled with crazy videos and websites from wacky conspiracy theorists claiming that "The End Times" are coming.

Again?

You'll have to pardon me if I'm not much fun here. I've seen and heard it all. You can only see and hear so much of this nonsense before you just get bored of it (and before anyone starts firing off any comments about repentance and it's-for-real and you-just-wait, save your breath. Or keystrokes.) 




You can't set an exact date on such a thing either.  

But fear in America isn't just an emotion. It's a big industry. Politicians use fear to get votes. Radio and TV personalities use fear to get ratings and sales. And people on the internet like spreading fear for fun. Which translates into dollars for enterprising scam artists that feed off the money of the fearful, who are often the same people who tout the virtues of "freedom and liberty" (or the far-right version of it.) Which is odd because you can't have either if you're always scared.

Another crazy internet doomsday theory is Nibiru.

Nibiru is an alleged planet that every year since 2003 was supposed to crash into Earth or tilt its rotational axis, causing the usual global catastrophe. 


Much of this is spread further by radio hosts such as Art Bell, George Noory and Alex Jones, who host syndicated radio talk programs to audiences who are looking for something to justify their own delusions about "The Great Unknown" or "What The Government Won't Tell You". Who then make outlandish videos for YouTube and websites supporting the theories these hosts entertain or these individuals add their own twist to them.

Religious people especially like to get people worked up over doom and gloom. And for the same reason; It makes money. Hundreds of books have been written on "The End Times", some of them New York Times bestsellers.

In 2011, evangelical broadcaster Harold Camping made an infamous prediction over his Family Radio network of stations predicting the return of Jesus Christ on May 21, 2011. This prompted many employees and listeners of Family Radio to sell or donate their worldly possessions in anticipation of "The End".

Photo: Radio Survivor

When this did not materialize, Camping pushed back the date by five months to October 21,2011. When nothing happened on this date, Camping quickly disappeared from the airwaves, replaced by reruns of his own program. Camping died on December 15, 2013. He is survived by the world. The failure of his predictions as well as falling listener donations have led to the sale of many of his radio stations.

But as any of you who have had to deal with friends or relatives who were panicky about the whole "Y2K" debacle, you begin to seriously wonder if there needs to be a law requiring a disclaimer to all these programs and websites to at least protect the mentally unstable (which will surely cause stock in tinfoil to collapse.)

Then when nothing happens, they scramble for some explanation to save their asses. Which makes them and those that believed in them the first time around look even more foolish.

Personally, the only thing that can really destroy the Earth is the greed of the human race itself. Not some bipolar "god". Or things from outer space. But as long as there are fragile minded, easily terrified people, there will be always be someone trying to exploit that fear.

And as I speak, there's someone out there making up another end of the world story. And this time, it's for real. It's the big one. You better get ready this time.

Just like all the others...

Lazy Susan AM Radio

"Hooked On Classics" The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (K-Tel/RCA, 1981)

When you think of classical music, K-Tel isn't exactly the first name that comes to mind.

K-Tel, as everyone knows, was the purveyor of microgroove albums of all the pop hits that's print to fit. So what was K-Tel doing messing around with classical music?

The story begins in the UK at the height of the Stars On 45 fad. Louis Clark, former arranger of Electric Light Orchestra had an idea of making a similar medley album, using recognizable pieces of classical music linked together with a disco beat. He thought it could re-energize the classical genre the way the Stars On 45 helped re-energize the Beatles catalog for a new generation. He found an unlikely supporter and partner in K-Tel UK.

UK pressing of Hooked On Classics

However this was far from the first time someone got the idea of blending classical music with contemporary pop music. Since the dawn of pop, classical melodies were used as the framework for many pop songs. Classically styled orchestras called 'Pops' (or "Light") orchestras often made full orchestrated versions of pop music and were staples in the easy listening radio format. Arthur Fiedler and John Williams were the best known conductors of pops orchestras.. The 1960s and '70s were a huge time of classical fusion with pop and rock. Beginning with Simon & Garfunkel, The Moody Blues and various experimental albums using classically styled arrangements of pop hits led to the progressive rock era. And from there, disco was added ("A Fifth of Beethoven" Walter Murphy from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack was the '70s most famous example. Even leading an aging Arthur Fiedler into the disco age.)

While classical purists loudly condemned this practice, it's worth noting that there was a side benefit. Classical music even then was largely dying as fewer young people were exposed to the music. These albums, for all their campiness and unconventional approaches did introduce classical elements to a newer generation. It may not be your grandpa's classical music, but they illustrated what could be done with it in contemporary music. If they only got that far it was worth it as classical music, while still an increasingly obscure genre and long vanished off commercial radio, is still very much alive and it's influence still occasionally pops up now and then in contemporary pop and rock music.

Hooked On Classics was released in the UK and became a phenomenal smash hit. However in the US, K-Tel needed to get this out to real record stores, as most of K-Tel's product was sold in discount stores. And to the radio stations. RCA had all these connections. So they arranged a distribution deal through RCA Records in the US.

 This is K-Tel's only originally produced US Top 40 hit single, making it to #10 in February of 1982.

Hooked On Classics spawned two sequel albums, each selling far less than the first in 1982 and 1983.

"The Captain Of Her Heart" Double (1985)

Listen

This song will save you $$$ in air conditioning costs. Just the sound of it drops the room temperature a few degrees and you swear you feel a soft, cool ocean breeze go by.

This song was a standard of the days of the "Lite" Adult Contemporary music on the 1980s radio dial. The kind of radio stations that played music and had imaging so light, you had to tether the office radio down to something secure to keep it from simply floating away.

Double (Pronounced DOO-Blay) was a Swiss pop duo of Kurt Maloo and Felix Haug. They formed originally as Ping Pong and in 1982, scored a minor hit in Europe on the German label Big Mouth with the catchy "Rhythm Walk".

The cover of Ping Pong's only LP

Ping Pong reformed as Double in 1983 and released a few European singles before recording their major label debut LP Blue which featured re-recordings of the earlier Double singles as well as "The Captain of Her Heart".

Double went on to release a second album in 1987 Dou3le. But aside from a critically well received single "Devil's Ball" there were no hits at all off this album. And Double called it a day.

Felix Haug sadly died of a heart attack in 2004. Kurt Maloo is still active.

The Lunch Man and Lunch Tunes Lunch Boxes (1986)

The Lunch Man and Lunch Tunes lunch boxes were basic kids lunch boxes with one striking difference; They had built-in radios and headphones.

Unfortunately, they were AM radios at a time when Top 40 radio in the US had largely moved to FM. (They still had several AM Top 40s in Canada until the early 1990s.)

And it's doubtful many teachers or school lunch ladies thought these were a good idea either...

"The Rock & Roll Doctor" Travesty Ltd. (1980)

As heard on Dr. Demento back in the day.....

1970s Magnavox Drum Console Stereo

These are very rare today, Magnavox Drum Consoles were designed to blend in as an end table as well as match the popular octagon shaped living room furniture of that time.

Gary Owens Aircheck KMPC September 19,1970

The late Gary Owens, who passed away February 12 was unquestionably one of the world's finest broadcasting voices. From his days at KMPC 710 AM in Los Angeles, which aired what was called a "Middle of The Road" music format.

Middle of The Road, (or MOR) was about as family safe a radio format as you could get. Those "family safe" Christian Adult Contemporary stations today sound downright raunchy compared to the slick, genteel sound of Middle of The Road. Lots of soft pop songs, with a few perky instrumentals. Musically, it was barely passable if you were in your '20s and something Grandma could put up with as well. In 1970.

But what held it all together was the personalities on these radio stations. The smooth, stylish voices on these MOR radio stations. In Seattle, we had Robert E. Lee Hardwick on KVI, Larry Nelson on KOMO, and Phil Harper (who appeared on many Seattle stations and many formats from country to jazz.)

And Gary Owens had no shortage of that. His phrasing, his enunciation, they were as stylish as they came. His panache unforgettable. And one TV came back to time and time again, like another recently departed radio star, Casey Kasem.

Who will replace them? I just don't know......

"C.B. Savage" Rod Hart (1976)

"Give Just A Little" Seattle Helps The Hungry (1985)

The release of Band Aid's 1984 single "Do They Know It's Christmas?" raised a new consciousness of the devastating famine in Ethiopia in which several million Ethiopians died after years of drought and the unimaginable horror and suffering the Ethiopian people were enduring.

The success of the single inspired an American response single, "We Are The World" by USA For Africa and soon, artists from other countries and music communities began releasing what has become known as The Benefit Single. In which artists, producers, recording studios, labels, distributors and retail outlets would donate their talent, time and resources in bringing these singles to market with no compensation and 100% of the proceeds from the single would go to the charities in which they were intended.

After seeing a similar benefit single released by local artists in another city, Seattle producer and songwriter David Perry created Seattle's own benefit single for Ethiopia. This single, "Give Just A Little" was a sort of who's who of Seattle's local music talent and media personalities of that time. Including Annie Rose & The Thrillers, The Eagertones, The Dynette Set, Rail, The Cowboys, Chuck Conlon, Eric Tingstad, Michael Tomlinson, Mondo Vita and Red Dress. Radio and TV personalities Wayne Cody and Nick Walker of KIRO-TV, KUBE Radio's Truck Rogers, KHIT Radio's Maureen Matthews, KPLZ's Jeff King, KNBQ's R.P McMurphy and local legend Merrilee Rush (who sang the original version of the pop classic "Angel of The Morning"). As well as The Neville Brothers and many others.

The single benefitted the USA For Africa aid charity as well as local food bank Northwest Harvest. Reminding us that hunger exists right around the corner as well as halfway around the world.

This single (like many others) got some brief media attention, but it was also becoming apparent the market was becoming saturated with benefit singles and while local sales were good, they were eclipsed by the "We Are The World" single which inspired them.

However, as we are approaching the 30th anniversary of "We Are The World" (and it still seems like yesterday!), these singles still stand as an irrefutable testament to the fact that were it not for the music communities, Ethiopia would have starved while the politicians just talked. And every little bit helped.