"Hooked On Classics" The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (K-Tel/RCA, 1981)

When you think of classical music, K-Tel isn't exactly the first name that comes to mind.

K-Tel, as everyone knows, was the purveyor of microgroove albums of all the pop hits that's print to fit. So what was K-Tel doing messing around with classical music?

The story begins in the UK at the height of the Stars On 45 fad. Louis Clark, former arranger of Electric Light Orchestra had an idea of making a similar medley album, using recognizable pieces of classical music linked together with a disco beat. He thought it could re-energize the classical genre the way the Stars On 45 helped re-energize the Beatles catalog for a new generation. He found an unlikely supporter and partner in K-Tel UK.

UK pressing of Hooked On Classics

However this was far from the first time someone got the idea of blending classical music with contemporary pop music. Since the dawn of pop, classical melodies were used as the framework for many pop songs. Classically styled orchestras called 'Pops' (or "Light") orchestras often made full orchestrated versions of pop music and were staples in the easy listening radio format. Arthur Fiedler and John Williams were the best known conductors of pops orchestras.. The 1960s and '70s were a huge time of classical fusion with pop and rock. Beginning with Simon & Garfunkel, The Moody Blues and various experimental albums using classically styled arrangements of pop hits led to the progressive rock era. And from there, disco was added ("A Fifth of Beethoven" Walter Murphy from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack was the '70s most famous example. Even leading an aging Arthur Fiedler into the disco age.)

While classical purists loudly condemned this practice, it's worth noting that there was a side benefit. Classical music even then was largely dying as fewer young people were exposed to the music. These albums, for all their campiness and unconventional approaches did introduce classical elements to a newer generation. It may not be your grandpa's classical music, but they illustrated what could be done with it in contemporary music. If they only got that far it was worth it as classical music, while still an increasingly obscure genre and long vanished off commercial radio, is still very much alive and it's influence still occasionally pops up now and then in contemporary pop and rock music.

Hooked On Classics was released in the UK and became a phenomenal smash hit. However in the US, K-Tel needed to get this out to real record stores, as most of K-Tel's product was sold in discount stores. And to the radio stations. RCA had all these connections. So they arranged a distribution deal through RCA Records in the US.

 This is K-Tel's only originally produced US Top 40 hit single, making it to #10 in February of 1982.

Hooked On Classics spawned two sequel albums, each selling far less than the first in 1982 and 1983.

The Columbia Royal Blue Record

In the early 1930s, in the worst throes of The Great Depression, industry everywhere suffered. But perhaps not nearly as bad as the recording industry. In the previous decade, record sales were at an all time peak. But then came the stock market crash of 1929 and suddenly, people were having to make choices not on what they want, but what they need. For just survival.

And making it worse for the record sales was radio. There was really no point in buying the latest hit songs with what little money you had when you could hear them ad nauseum on the radio. And most people didn't.

However this meant the recording industry had to come up with brand new gimmicks. Daring ones.

The Columbia Royal Blue Record wasn't the first "coloured vinyl" (actually, shellac.) That goes way back to cylinder records.

 

And early Vocalion Records were reddish brown. But shellac colours were extremely rare on disc records. They were virtually all black.

And if you were a Columbia phonograph dealer struggling to stay alive in late 1932 (In those days, your phonograph dealer was usually also your record store.), you had a serious problem. No one is buying the records. And the radio stations were killing you.

So Columbia unveiled their Royal Blue records. With this record, which described the basic terms for the dealer.

They sounded amazingly good for a 78 and if you play them today with a 3.5mil diamond stylus and a magnetic cartridge, there is VERY little surface noise.

The Royal Blue line however only lasted a year. 

The Worst Christmas Song EVER

 

"An Old Fashioned Christmas (Daddy's Home)" Linda Bennett (1975)

It starts out like your typical sleepy MOR Christmas ballad. But then comes the "Breaking News" radio reports. And from here, this record really goes to hell.

What were they thinking?

"The Frito Twist" Euel Box (PAMS Recording, 1962)

Yours in a specially marked bag of Frito's corn chips in 1962 (The Year of The Twist).....

"Bay-Hay Bee Doll" The Swingers (JCPenney/RCA Custom, 1966)

A. "Bay-Hay Bee Doll" The Swingers

B. "Bay-Hay Bee Doll (Instrumental)" The Swingers (Links: WFMU's Beware Of The Blog )

Play this record at your own risk. Because once it gets inside your head, you can't get it out.

And in a surprisingly good way. The bass and drum playing are insanely catchy, if the lyrics and vocals are simply awful - even for an early bubblegum rock prototype, as this song seems to be.

This 45 was a complimentary extra with the purchase of it's latest colour-coordinated, polyester/cotton blend sportswear line, The Swingers. However I read on WFMU's page on this record that it was an extra with a doll called Bay-Hay Bee Doll. But I've never seen any evidence of this doll (and I really hope such an evil thing does not exist.)

If The Swingers sound familiar, bear in mind there were literally dozens of bands in 1965/1966 called The Swingers, or some variation (The Swingle Singers, The Swingin' Blue Jeans, The Swingin' Medallions, et al.) I'm guessing "swinger" also didn't quite have the sexual connotations at that time that it would be infamous for throughout the '70s.

The song was written by someone named Warren Parker. However, the musician roster on this track as well as any session information have been lost to time (or more likely, never kept. As it was considered a commercial marketing one-off and not a legitimate band.)  

Epic Nu-Disks

In 1979, Epic Records introduced the Nu-Disk.

 

The Nu-Disk was a 10" inch extended play mini-album, or EP. It was made mostly as a promotional gimmick for mostly newer rock acts on the label.

However records of a 10" inch size weren't "Nu". In fact, most of the very first 33 1/3 LPs from 1948 to 1955 were 10" inches and that size was actually considered standard and many automatic record changers well into the 1970s had a 10" size selector. But the 12" LP began to overtake the 10" and with the exception of a few rare pressings, the 10" album size was largely retired until Nu-Disk.

Only a handful of titles were released in the Nu-Disk format before CBS retired the format in 1981 due to public indifference. All further EPs were 7" or 12".

 

 

"No More 'I Love You's'" The Lover Speaks (1986)

 

Betcha thought it was an Annie Lennox song all this time, didn't ya? ;)

Don't worry, you're in good company. A lot of people don't know about this lost gem. Or who The Lover Speaks were.

It was released in 1986 and didn't fare too well on the UK charts and didn't appear at all on the US charts and quietly disappeared.

They did get some American alternative rock radio airplay, including on Seattle's KJET. Playlist courtesy of Mike Fuller.

The Lover Speaks were a New Wave duo from England, made up of two former members of the punk band The Flys, David Freeman and Joseph Hughes. Their self-titled first album The Lover Speaks was produced by Dave Stewart of Eurythmics and the duo were the opening act on the Eurythmics world tour of 1986 for their new album Revenge.

Sadly, the poor sales and chart performance of their first LP led to A&M Records dropping the duo after completing their second album The Big Lie in 1987 (again with Dave Stewart producing.) The Big Lie as far as I know remains unreleased to this day. And The Lover Speaks disbanded.

The Lover Speaks (A&M, 1986)

However, their partnership with Eurythmics paid off handsomely nine years later in 1995 when Annie Lennox covered "No More 'I Love You's'", and made it the lead single on her Medusa album. It became a monster worldwide smash hit and the biggest solo hit of her career.


David Freeman went on to a solo career in the 1990s and is currently retired. Joseph Hughes became a producer and songwriter and is currently active today.

Overlooked Americana

I was going through my blog post drafts (I have something like 200 of them in varying stages of completion) and I had intended to put this up on July 4th, but it somehow got lost in the pile. It's about a couple of odd America related songs. One a near hit, the other a gay rights anthem for something that is now the law of the land (and it's not marriage.)

"The Voice of Freedom" Jim Kirk & The TM Singers (1980)

 

If Jim Kirk & The TM Singers sound familiar, you probably heard them on any given radio station jingle of the 1970s and '80s. Because that's what Jim Kirk & The TM Singers were; jingle singers for radio stations. And what's TM? TM is a company that makes radio station jingles (of course), but also supplies radio stations with music libraries, voice overs, imaging and commercial production materials.

They scored a near hit with this patriotic song which made the Billboard Hot 100 and got a good amount of airplay on Adult Contemporary and Country stations for a couple weeks. But like all songs with little kids featured on vocals (as in parts of this song), it just didn't last long. Jim Kirk & The TM Singers continued making radio station jingles well into the 1980s and beyond. TM today is now TM Studios.

The next song is REALLY different.

"There's A Star Spangled Banner Waving Somewhere" Peter Grudzien (1974)

 

You were probably expecting the traditional version, weren't you?

Long before the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" debate over gays and lesbians serving in the armed forces (in spite of the fact they were always there - just not openly. That part was the automatic disqualification), there was Peter Grudzien's rendition of "There's A Star Spangled Banner Waving Somewhere". Perhaps the first song to even address that topic. And this was in 1974. This was from his self released album The Unicorn and quickly it became an underground gay/lesbian music classic.
  
Footnote: Speaking of radio, many thanks to Radio Insight and Puget Sound Radio for linking to my Seattle's KJET 1600 AM blog post this weekend.  And welcome aboard readers. There's lots of radio related posts here with all the usual junk. Cheers!

 

MTV Hot Hits From Cherry 7-Up Cassette (MCA Special Products, 1988)

These cassettes were loss leaders, yours free with two 2 liter bottles of Cherry 7-Up in 1988.

More McDonalds Memories

Thanks to Lee Willoughby...