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Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Fotomat


Before the era of digital and even one hour photo development, Fotomat kiosks were once ubiquitous in shopping centers across America. Yours Truly worked at one one summer in the mid-'80s.


It was just me, still in high school and a girl named Julie, a college student who worked there. Julie was a drop dead BABE and sweet and bubbly as soda pop - but already taken (Man! I was jealous of her boyfriend! I mean, he was a really cool guy to me and all. And I had to be really cool to him, but....Still...)

Julie had the morning/early afternoon shift and I had the afternoon/evening shift and closing.

Fotomat offered one DAY photo processing. A JOKE today, but at that time, it was still very much standard (although the first one hour processing places in drug stores were appearing. But not so much to give us any SERIOUS competition. Not just yet.)  Our biggest selling point was still pure and simple All American drive-thru convenience. And for a lot of people, we were good enough for them.

We also sold Kodak and Konica film, batteries and even flashcubes/bulbs for your old trusty '50s/'60s/'70s cameras. Even Polaroid film was available (yes, we even showed them some love!) Disposable cameras were still a few years away.

The customer would drive up to the kiosk and drop off his/her film rolls, which the customer would pay for and we would take down their names/addresses/phone numbers on an envelope (or they would take an envelope and do it themselves, making things a LOT faster), put the film inside and pay for their purchase and we would wait for the pick up/delivery person to come and get them/drop off finished photos. They came twice a day - usually at noon and again around 6pm to take the film to Seattle and return them the next day. So between pick-up/deliveries and taking orders/returning finished orders, it was mostly a pretty laid back job. A lot of tedium. But for minimum wage, it was worth it. And for me, not so much an outgoing "socially active" person in public, it was PERFECT.

And contrary to popular belief, Fotomat kiosks were air conditioned in summer and well heated in the winter. "Lavatory use" was provided by a nearby AM/PM gas station/mini-mart who's franchise owners, a sweet older Indian lady and her husband were one of our friendly regulars (they often brought us sackfuls of cheeseburgers, hot dogs, burritos, BBQ Pork "rib" sandwiches - anything pulled and sodas along with their film.) And we didn't care if they were just pulled from the heat lamps and a little dry (well, maybe Julie did more than I - which is probably why she never ate much of it if it came on her watch and left most of it for me.) But to a hungry young man like I was - and still am (though not quite so young), chow is chow.

And if you've ever seen Tommy Chong's character in That '70s Show, you know just how "laid back" a photo kiosk was. But even though on the surface, it looks like the perfect place to "smoke 'em if you got 'em", the reality was you never knew who could show up at any given time (regional managers would make surprise visits.) Cops also developed their personal/family film there too. So it wasn't always as easy to get away with that as it would appear.

In the '80s, we had no internet or any kind of social media to play with to pass the time (would have been PERFECT.) So a lot of the time between customers and pickup/deliveries of film - gaps of between 10 - 30 minutes weren't unusual, was spent listening to the radio and reading magazines, library books and newspapers. Actual LINES of cars were rare, but the busiest day I had that summer was the day after the 4th of July. That was my biggest line at one time, five cars, all done in less than 6 minutes. Julie said she dealt with an eight car line that morning.

But there were problems. The worst was having film or photos lost or misplaced at the processing center. We made sure everything was organized and accounted for on our part. But accidents still happened on the other end. Dealing with angry people was a real problem sometimes. We had a hotline number we gave them. But sometimes that wasn't good enough and understandably so - people's memories were on that film. Fortunately for me, that only happened once.

And the occasional robbery. We never kept more than $50 at any time in the till. But I never had a robbery in the whole time I worked at Fotomat (Julie wasn't so lucky.)

It was sad seeing the Fotomats disappear soon after I left as one hour photo processing became standard. But it was one of the best jobs I ever had. No pressure to overachieve, low stress. And one I actually MISS in spite of the low pay and occasional boredom.

And one I'll never forget.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Remembering J.P. Patches



Today, a part of my childhood died.

Chris Wedes (pronounced WEE-DUSS), better known as JP Patches passed away this morning at the age of 84.

People in Western Washington and Lower Mainland and Vancouver Island areas of British Columbia, Canada grew up watching The JP Patches Show regularly in the '60s and '70s. He was a staple of Seattle's KIRO-TV 7 until 1981 when the station dropped the program in favour of an expanded morning newscast. A move that was LOUDLY protested, but to no avail.

Every weekday morning, JP Patches was watched by thousands. His characters, including (from Wikipedia)  Sturdley the Bookworm, Esmerelda (portrayed by a Raggedy Ann doll), Ketchikan the Animal Man (a sort of Jack Hanna character), Boris S. Wort (the "second meanest man in the world"), LeRoy Frump (a character obviously based on Art Carney's Ed Norton), Tikey Turkey (a rubber chicken), Grandpa Tick Tock (a grandfather clock with an elderly face where the pendulum would be), The Swami of Pastrami, Ggoorrsstt the Friendly Frpl (a one-eyed shag carpet), Miss Smith (a motorcycle riding delivery woman who told mostly awful jokes), Superclown (a JP like superhero), J.P.'s evil counterpart P. J. Scratches, and J.P.'s girlfriend, Gertrude 

They were all portrayed by show producer and sidekick, Bob Newman) and rounded out the show. The shows viewers were Patches Pals.


The show was interspersed with Warner Brothers cartoons between acts. JP Patches was also a favourite for adults. JP Patches' humour was filled with sly double entendre, but it was NEVER filthy.


Every morning, he would read off his viewers birthdays on a segment he called ICU2 TV. 

(This was custom recorded last year for somebody else. But it comes very close to what the original ICU2 TV segment looked like.)

I remember having my name read on my 7th birthday (my mom had sent in a postcard with my name and birthday a month earlier and I'll never forget how he stumbled all over my last name!) He eerily "knew" where a birthday present of mine was hidden (The oven. Great place mom!)

14 years later. I met Chris Wedes personally (out of the JP Patches costume and makeup) and I mentioned it to him. To my surprise, he actually remembered it! "Oh, you're the one with that crazy last name!" he joked. He mentioned that before the ICU2 TV segment that he was figuring out how to pronounce it. "And that's why yours was the very last name I read that morning." And it was!

He then added "Plus it was at the bottom of the list anyway"


I told him to break it down into syllables Wald-Bill-Ig

"And now you finally tell me this!" he replied with a big laugh. "What other secrets have you been hiding from me?"

I could barely keep it together, I was laughing so hard.

In costume and out, Chris Wedes himself was just as funny as his beloved character. He was JP Patches. 


My favourite JP Patches episode was the one on the SUPER chilly morning in 1975 (it was 12 degrees!) when Ggoorrsstt the Friendly Frpl (rhymes with "purple") had a dilemma. He needed fresh frpl fodder from Fife (an area closer to Seattle) for food. But he got the frozen frpl fodder flown in from Ferndale (90 miles to the north). Far from fresh!

They still have it on video.....It was one of his best.

But sadly, KIRO-TV only saved a few episodes on tape (professional video tape at that time was incredibly expensive.) And we never had a home VCR (there were very few home models at that time and they were also incredibly expensive in the '70s.) Barring any lucky finds on YouTube that somebody else may have recorded, the rest of JP Patches shows are sadly forever lost to time. 



But they will forever be in our memories.......

Thank You JP Patches. It's hard to hold back the tears because laughter is your legacy. And sometimes in this crazy world today, I think we need you now more than ever.

Forever a Patches Pal,

Larry Waldbillig 





 

TV Dinners


They just don't make 'em like they used to:

Anyone still remember Libbyland? I do.


Here's a Swanson's ad fron 1975. This was seen during the W.I.N! (Whip Inflation Now) campaign of President Ford. And just LOOK at all the meat you're getting! A thigh, a drumstick and a wing. Even my mom saw through that one and bought the more expensive stuff. She knew you didn't feed a kid like me on a meal that barely qualified as a snack for the North Korean army:


And finally, who could forget THIS one. Banquet specialised in frozen "family" entrees in this long-played '60s commerical - well into the '70s....