It Seemed Like A Good Idea Part 3

Radioactive Beauty Products

Asbestos

DDT

Live Baby Alligators As Pets

Unicorn Horns for Cats

Parakeet Diapers

Rent-a-Toupee

I mean, if you're going to rent your hair, you may as well buy this.

Lead

L'eggs, L'aura & L'erin

Somewhere suspiciously next the ubiquitous L'eggs pantyhose display stand in any supermarket of the early '80 was the L'erin cosmetics stand.

Most people already figured this was a natural place to put the makeup. But for L'eggs, it was uniquely important; They owned L'erin.

L'eggs is a product of underwear conglomerate Hanes. They were introduced in 1969 with their famous plastic egg containers, which had zillions of uses (some women would keep jewelry in them, some people made arts and crafts out of them. In fact, some people bought them just for the big plastic egg containers, which sadly, they have long since phased out.)

Seeing an complimentary advantage to their very successful pantyhose line, in 1980, L'eggs created the L'aura cosmetics line.

Wait....What?

L'aura was the original name for L'erin. But everybody got it mixed up with that big French cosmetic conglomerate, L'Oreal. It was quickly renamed L'erin.


But L'erin cosmetics as a product? Well, the verdict wasn't good.

First, most women were used to the idea of makeup being a distinctly personal art. They wanted something glamourous and luxurious. And all other cosmetic companies were working overtime to accommodate this image.

But L'erin just wasn't that. At all. L'erin's commercial tag line for it's first few years was "Put Your Face On And Forget It". Which sounds like something their dads would say when he needed to use the bathroom.

L'erin was trying to be simpler and more practical, aiming for the young, active woman who wanted less drama and fuss in their makeup kits. But being sold primarily in supermarkets and discount stores (this wasn't exactly Estee Lauder), the cosmetically savvy ladies just weren't impressed. They viewed L'erin as cheap and chintzy.

And it was. The makeup quality itself was also notorious, as millions of raccoon-eyed girls staring back from their '80s high school yearbooks can testify. The mascara was clumpy right out of the bottle, the eyeliner and eye shadow ran under hot lights or in the hot sun. By this time, boys were getting into makeup (the Duran Duran thing and the first wave of glam metal had hit) and I remember girls experimenting on us with their once-used L'erin cosmetics....And then laughing their butts off when we walked outside on a hot day.

The eternal price of trying to be cool (Sigh!)

L'erin lasted until 1984. It was sold in 1983 by Consolidated Foods (now Sara Lee) to another makeup company and after a few attempts to resuscitate the brand, L'erin was discontinued. 

Norelco Santa

"Zoo Be Zoo Be Zoo" Sophia Loren (1961)

Listen here

Usually, actors make lousy singers. And singers usually make lousy actors. And often, what's beautiful visually needs a LOT of studio gimmickery to pass for acceptable aurally.

There are exceptions.

Sophia Loren looked gorgeous AND could carry a tune, as she did in this 1961 classic.

Enjoy. 

The Crimping Iron

Electric hair crimping of some kind has existed since the 1920s....

....and the first crimping irons appeared shortly after the first portable electric curling iron wands in the early 1970s.

But the Somebody-Just-Dumped-A-Bowl-Of-Top-Ramen-Noodles-On-My-Head look didn't become all the rage until the late 1980s.

They were popular from 1984 until 1992. But it wasn't until 1987 when pop star Taylor Dayne turned crimped hair into a national epidemic.

You probably knew some chicks (and even a few dudes) with crimped hair. Photo: Back To The '90s

The crimping iron, by frying your hair, added poofy volume to it. Tease it out and you had something like this.

Next to the can of Ultimate Hold Aqua-Net hairspray to shellac your 'do with, they were staples of anyone with big hair in the late 1980s.

I shellacked my hair with enough of this crap in my big hair days to collapse a mile of ozone. And Mother Nature is starting to get back at me for it.....

Your '80s Bathroom

Rula Lenska

Back in 1979, Alberto VO5 hair products made several American TV commercials with "superstar" Rula Lenska.


There was just one problem. While Rula Lenska was famous as a TV, film and stage actress in the UK, in America she was known as "that woman on the hair spray commercials nobody's ever heard of."

"Teach Me Tiger" April Stevens (1959)

For those of you in the Midwest right now, I thought this might warm you up a bit.

It's April Stevens, of whom would be better known a few years later as part of a duo with her brother, Nino Tempo when their single "Deep Purple" rocketed to #1 in November 1963 and would have stayed there a few more weeks had fate kept Lee Harvey Oswald at home....


  

Nad's Gel

This was sold via infomercials in the USA in the 1990s.

I once ordered a jar of this sticky goop so I could get the hair off my shoulders and back. My girlfriend at the time spread it on and said "Hold still" as she applied this stuff and the strips.

When she ripped the first strip off, every moose in Canada could hear me scream "YEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!"

She cackled evilly, grabbed the back of my neck and ripped off the remaining strips. Which hurt worse than the first.....

Needless to say, I never ordered another jar.....

Super Creepy Love's Baby Soft Commercial From 1975

Thighmaster

One of the most memorable infomercials of the '90s, starring babe-o-rama Suzanne Somers and her new gadget, the Thighmaster.

You can see she was having a great time with this thing. And so does her doctor. Hmmm......

During the height of this infomercial's popularity, Alice In Chains released their classic Dirt album. In the opening lyrics of the first single "Would?", everyone thought they said......

"Help me/I've broken my Thighmaster....."

The Perfume Counter: Fragrance Commercials of The '70s

Enjoli

                                

Charlie

Hai Karate

Windsong

Brut

Beatlemania!

 

 More Here: Rare Beatles