PepsiCo, the world's second largest soft drink company, has claimed trademark protection on the word "Jazz" and has issued cease and desist orders to anyone currently using the word other than in reference to their diet cola product of that name.
Pepsi Jazz has been on the market since 2006, while the word "j---" goes back to around 1915, but PepsiCo was able to exploit a loophole in the burgeoning field of ridiculous intellectual property claims. "No one had trademarked the word," said Pepsi spokesbastard Phil Clabbard, "so we took the opportunity to secure our brand property. We feel this will eliminate confusion that may be usurping our brand integrity and product recognition. From now on, when anyone says 'Jazz,' everyone will know they mean 'Pepsi Jazz.'"