Can't Get This Stuff No More: Discontinued Grocery Items of the '50s to the '90s

"Ruby Tuesday" Freakout Guitars (Spin-O-Rama,1967)

Freakout!!: The Great New Guitar Sounds Freakout Guitars (Spin-O-Rama, 1967)

This super-cheesy whammy-bar fueled version of the Rolling Stones classic has always been a personal guilty pleasure of mine. In fact both sides of this album are worth a listen (it's department store budget albums like this one that also have some of the most kickass talk-over music for your community LPFM radio show.)

I think this was as close to a psychedelic album as Spin-O-Rama Records ever got. 

Do It Debbie's Way (Sterling Entertainment Group/Video Associates, 1983 VHS Tape)

Do It Debbie's Way may sound like the sequel to something you'd find in the darker corner of your video rental store (usually the one behind the beaded curtains.)

The late Debbie Reynolds was one of America's 1950 and 60s sweethearts and a legendary actress and singer. And of course, mom to the late Carrie Fisher. And like many stars in the '80s, she also got into the exercise craze.

But this video wasn't for everybody. You must have a tolerance for '40s style Big Band music. And lots of corny humor attempts. This offering was tailored for a specific audience. Namely the older folks who wanted to lose weight, but didn't want any of that Jane Fonda commie crap (in spite of the fact Jane Fonda was the bourgeois favorite of the '80s.)

Unfortunately, there's no funked up version of "Tammy" (Reynold's 1957 mega hit) to jazzercise to. But you do get to see poor Shelley Winters (in the most awesome sweatshirt ever for this occasion) trying to keep up with Debbie.....

Tortura: The Sounds of Pain and Pleasure (Bondage Records, 1965)

You can listen or download here.

Greetings again my naughty readers. Today, we're going to look at one of the most bizarre non-music records of the 1960s.

Not much is known about this album. Yet it remains one of the most collectible non-music LPs for it's rarity and, um, oddness.

Tortura was produced by Los Angeles based Flag Publications, noteworthy for it's um, kinky products. Which of course includes “adult and juvenile discipline, transvestism, home movie and Polaroid hobbyists, exotica, sunbathing groups, male models, leather and rubber apparel, restraint, male and female domination and bondage." So there.

The other thing about the Tortura album was that it was mentioned in a 1969 obscenity trial, United States v. Baranov which ruled against the album along with several pornographic mail-order publications. Could it have been Flag Publications themselves that were on trial?

Listening to Tortura, it's not much more than whipping sounds and lots of "Ooooh"s, "Ahhhh"s "Ohhhh"s. But hardly anything worth making a federal case over. These utterances are more like the commentary you would make at a 6 year old's crayon drawing than anything illicitly sensual. 

Yes, this even spawned a sequel LP

"Friday On My Mind" Elliot Goblet (Avenue Records, 1989)

This 1989 cover of The Easybeats' 1966 classic should have been released in America. Seriously.



Elliot Goblet is a persona of Australian comedian Jack Levi. And why Apple and/or Amazon never used Elliot Goblet's voice instead of Siri and Alexa should be worthy of a federal investigation. 

The Telephone Gossip Bench

The telephone "gossip bench" was a throwback to the early days of the telephone. They were often found in hallways and foyers for privacy. They had space for a telephone and sometimes a directory or drawer space. They typically date from the 1900s to the 1960s (but I remember seeing a few in department store catalogs as late as the 1980s.) But as more people began getting their own phones in their own rooms and private lines, they became obsolete.

However, they've found new uses today as a book nook or laptop/netbook desks.

Images: Reddit

Electric Banana Phonograph