Tortura: The Sounds of Pain and Pleasure (Bondage Records, 1965)

You can listen or download here.

Greetings again my naughty readers. Today, we're going to look at one of the most bizarre non-music records of the 1960s.

Not much is known about this album. Yet it remains one of the most collectible non-music LPs for it's rarity and, um, oddness.

Tortura was produced by Los Angeles based Flag Publications, noteworthy for it's um, kinky products. Which of course includes “adult and juvenile discipline, transvestism, home movie and Polaroid hobbyists, exotica, sunbathing groups, male models, leather and rubber apparel, restraint, male and female domination and bondage." So there.

The other thing about the Tortura album was that it was mentioned in a 1969 obscenity trial, United States v. Baranov which ruled against the album along with several pornographic mail-order publications. Could it have been Flag Publications themselves that were on trial?

Listening to Tortura, it's not much more than whipping sounds and lots of "Ooooh"s, "Ahhhh"s "Ohhhh"s. But hardly anything worth making a federal case over. These utterances are more like the commentary you would make at a 6 year old's crayon drawing than anything illicitly sensual. 

Yes, this even spawned a sequel LP

"Friday On My Mind" Elliot Goblet (Avenue Records, 1989)

This 1989 cover of The Easybeats' 1966 classic should have been released in America. Seriously.



Elliot Goblet is a persona of Australian comedian Jack Levi. And why Apple and/or Amazon never used Elliot Goblet's voice instead of Siri and Alexa should be worthy of a federal investigation. 

The Telephone Gossip Bench

The telephone "gossip bench" was a throwback to the early days of the telephone. They were often found in hallways and foyers for privacy. They had space for a telephone and sometimes a directory or drawer space. They typically date from the 1900s to the 1960s (but I remember seeing a few in department store catalogs as late as the 1980s.) But as more people began getting their own phones in their own rooms and private lines, they became obsolete.

However, they've found new uses today as a book nook or laptop/netbook desks.

Images: Reddit

Electric Banana Phonograph

Mall Of 1974 by Mall Music Muzak

Remember real shopping music? Before the music over shopping mall PA systems became a mishmash of Adult Contemporary recurrents and tired, overplayed '80s oldies?

The music was always more welcoming because it was agnostic. It wasn't someone's favorite music. Or anyone's. It was that stuff that you heard just slightly below the general din of a typical day inside a shopping mall.

You don't know headaches until you've just heard Bon Jovi music playing in the echo chamber of an empty shopping mall. You just don't.

Because the malls acoustically are/were the worst places for contemporary pop/rock music of ANY kind. I soon realized this after the malls started changing their background music from easy listening to pop music from 1987 to 1990. And I soon had a renewed appreciation for orchestras with pianos and lots of big brassy instruments. 

Photo: Long Island '70s Kid

Because shopping malls have/had hard surfaces. The glass storefronts, marble floors and walls, fountains, the weird metal abstract art sculptures and high vaulted courtyard ceilings all reflect sound. Acoustically, they were just better tempered for low volume Percy Faith than mid-volume Paula Abdul. Pop/rock booms in malls with a cathedral-like echo that's sometimes disorienting. Some people can't process that and the person next to them talking through the echo as well as the older easy listening and I'm one of them. Now get off my lawn.

But now you can relive that golden sound as you browse through the Amazon app on your smartphone! Mall Of 1974 is essentially a nifty compilation of classic mall PA music. But also with added echo and reverb to simulate the sound of a shopping mall, circa 1970s/early '80s.

Enjoy!