Black Rose: Cher's Lost Rock Album

Black Rose was a rock group Cher sang lead vocals for. Most people and many of Cher's own fans aren't even aware of this album because it's never listed amongst most Cher discographies. And for collectors, it's a holy grail to find the original 1980 Casablanca vinyl release with record, jacket and sleeve in pristine condition. Only 400,000 copies were sold worldwide.

In 1980, Cher was romantically involved with rock guitarist Les Dudek and this led to the musical collaboration that became Black Rose. Cher had just released two disco records for Casablanca in 1979, Take Me Home and Prisoner. But Black Rose was different. It wasn't disco, it was actually something closer to a mainstream rock album for that time.

On the album, Cher sang vocals, but only appeared in a group photo on the back of the LP.

She was not even mentioned on the cover. Cher and Dudek were conscientiously trying to avoid the spotlight on Cher and make Black Rose a group effort rather than just another solo Cher album.

In spite of Cher's incredible network of connections in Hollywood that could have INSTANTLY made them nationally famous stars, Black Rose took the high road, playing gigs at smaller LA nightclubs. Everything the hard way.

Well, almost everything. They got an A-list team of songwriters, such as David Foster, Valarie Carter, Bernie Taupin, Mike Chapman, Carole Bayer-Sager, Vinnie Poncia and Allee Willis. As well as a deal with the one of the biggest record labels in the world at that time. The other members in Black Rose were seasoned LA session musicians. With side help from members of Toto (who would also appear on Cher's later '80s albums.)

The music was very well produced for it's time, as you could imagine. In fact, it was overproduced really. No catchy hooks. Everything really sounds forced to it's limits.

And comically beyond, as Cher's vocals on "Never Should've Started" painfully prove. It was the first single from the album and it was largely ignored by the radio.

         


But the new sound was alienating to her '60s and '70s pop fans as well as her disco era fans. Some critics thought they were trying to clone Blondie. And that Cher's voice was unsuited to the material she was singing. She went an a small tour to promote the album as The Black Rose Show.

It was darn nigh impossible for women in rock in the 70s. There wasn't a mold if you were a woman and you were in the entertainment in the 70s. You were probably a disco diva or a folk singer, or simply ornamental. Radio would play only one woman per hour.
Read more at: http://www.azquotes.com/quote/903004

It was darn nigh impossible for women in rock in the 70s. There wasn't a mold if you were a woman and you were in the entertainment in the 70s. You were probably a disco diva or a folk singer, or simply ornamental. Radio would play only one woman per hour.
Read more at: http://www.azquotes.com/quote/903004

It was darn nigh impossible for women in rock in the '70s. There wasn't a mold if you were a woman and you were in the entertainment in the '70s. You were probably a disco diva or a folk singer, or simply ornamental. Radio would play only one woman per hour.
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/annwilson412555.html

It was darn nigh impossible for women in rock in the '70s. There wasn't a mold if you were a woman and you were in the entertainment in the '70s. You were probably a disco diva or a folk singer, or simply ornamental. Radio would play only one woman per hour.
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/ann_wilson.html

It was darn nigh impossible for women in rock in the '70s. There wasn't a mold if you were a woman and you were in the entertainment in the '70s. You were probably a disco diva or a folk singer, or simply ornamental. Radio would play only one woman per hour.
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/ann_wilson.html

But sales of Black Rose were still very low and copies of the LP could be found in the cut-out budget bins at your local record store nine months after it's release for $1.99.

Cher ended Black Rose in 1981.

"You Are Everything" Judas Priest (Unreleased 1988 Demo Snippets)

If there was one set of producers, one band and one song you would have absolutely never made any connection with whatsoever in 1988, it's Stock, Aitken & Waterman, Judas Priest and The Stylistics 1971 hit "You Are Everything".

For those not aware of Stock, Aitken & Waterman, they were the legendary '80s producers of similar sounding UK pop hits-by-numbers. Including Bananarama, Kim Wilde, Rick Astley, Kylie Minogue and Sonia

You couldn't get any more polar opposite musically if you tried. To say nothing of a heavy metal cover version of a '70s soul masterpiece.

But although these are fragments of an unreleased demo, this is actually pretty damn good. Judas Priest did it right. Faithful to the Stylistics original (you don't want to screw with a classic.) But carefully arranged for a metal power ballad. 

SA&W kept the drum machines and synthesizers in check. They knew what song this was and what band they were dealing with. The band also recorded some also as yet unreleased original songs from this session. But the band says it's unlikely the whole songs will surface 

Judas Priest guitarist Glenn Tipton also recorded guitar solos for a Stock, Aitken & Waterman produced artist, Samantha Fox, and was credited on her 1991 track "Spirit of America".

Read more about it in the Blabbermouth article here.

1930s Traveling Movie Theater

                                             (Click on photos to enlarge)

Hamburger Helper

If there's one product that American families on a budget know and love/hate the taste of all too well, it was Hamburger Helper.

Hamburger was super cheap back in 1971 (not so cheap these days.) And more housewives were entering the work force. So they needed a cheap, easy to make meal that was satisfying and tasty.

So the folks at General Mills created what has since become a staple in the American kitchen cupboard.

However, there was a precedent. In the late 1960s, Betty Crocker had a product called Chuck Wagon Dinner.

It was test marketed before new flavours came and the decision was to incorporate it all under the Hamburger Helper brand.

Hamburger Helper originally came in Potato Stroganoff, Chili Tomato (the former Chuck Wagon Dinner), Beef Noodle and Hash (which was diced dehydrated potatoes and beef flavouring.)

And Rice Oriental. It was my mom's perennial favourite. Which has been discontinued since the late '90s/early 2000's to the dismay of many fans. And inspiring the launch of a Facebook group, Bring back Hamburger Helper Rice Oriental
   
But for me personally, the smell of Rice Oriental Hamburger Helper on the stove reminds me of simpler times. And dinner with mom, watching the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather on a gigantic Montgomery Ward console TV.

Newer flavours have come and gone every few years. Only Potato Stroganoff and Beef Noodle, now renamed Beef Pasta remain of the original lineup. My personal favourites, Cheeseburger Macaroni and Noodle Stroganoff came in the mid-'70s. And who remembers the Pizzabake from the 1980s?)

The Hamburger Stew was absolutely delicious.

The wild popularity of Hamburger Helper spawned Tuna Helper in 1972 (which my cat loved), Fruit Helper (a dessert product) in 1973, Chicken Helper in 1984, Pork Helper appeared in 2003, Asian Helper in 2006 (which was OK, but really disappointing in the fact that Rice Oriental was not included in that line.) Pork and Asian Helper are no longer on the market and Fruit Helper has been defunct since the mid'70s.

Cheesy Potatoes Au Gratin

In 2013, they shortened the name to just the monosyllabic "Helper". Another one of those slick sounding, but ultimately pointless corporate 'synergy' things to tie in all it's products and subsidiary lines, I guess.

But on last Friday, April Fool's Day, Betty Crocker/General Mills suddenly and quite unexpectedly threw down the The Ultimate Hip-Hop Party Jam Mixtape of '16.

Lefty is the anthropomorphic talking oven mitt mascot whose image graces the boxes and appeared in countless classic commercials for Hamburger Helper.



Now for my generation and older, Lefty's transformation is a bit of an, um.... Shock? But try to understand that your career options are very limited when you're an anthropomorphic talking/singing oven mitt. So you take whatever gig you can get.

Watch The Stove Helper feat. Lefty. Listen to the entire mixtape free at Soundcloud. No word as of yet of any vinyl issues of this mixtape. 

It quickly went viral on Twitter. Stirring up a piping hot pan of delicious memories amongst the usual snarkiness. But more than anything else, this is actually starting to be considered a landmark album in hip-hop, receiving praise in Billboard and The Los Angeles Times.

Anyway, what are you waiting for? It's 3:23am as I'm finishing writing this and I got me a hot bowl of Cheeseburger Macaroni right here. Bon Appetit!

I'm a thug....

Fake Lionel Richie

This CD was from the Mount Vernon City Library (WA) and particularly strange because these recordings aren't even from Lionel Richie at all. The singer(s) don't even sound close to Lionel Richie. Or Diana Ross on "Endless Love".
It was released in 1993 not on Motown (Lionel Richie's home label during his '80s hit making streak), but on something called Starnice. That was the first warning sign, along with the crummy, non-descript packaging.

A Googling of Starnice reveals it to be a Hong Kong based label with other titles of presumably similar knock-off material of other acts. Regardless, the CD is a fake and not worth anyone's money unless you like really bad anonymous karaoke covers better than original hit recordings (which I'm presuming most of you don't.)

I'm also sure this wasn't intended for sale in the U.S. where recordings like this are illegal to sell unless they are marked as not the original performer on the packaging. This is how these recordings otherwise get sold in America, as worthless anonymous "tribute" albums. I can't believe there's an entire bastard subset of the music industry dedicated to this crap (I once broke off a budding relationship with someone over the fact that she bought a Glee CD - no joke.) But this disc is a flat out fraud. It promises Lionel Richie, but gives you not one, but two and possibly three, maybe even four schmucks with detectable Chinese accents.

This disc starts out with an anemic cover of "Say You Say Me", bungled up lyrics in "Hello" ("I've been alone with you inside my head".) It's just droning electronic keyboards and lame attempts at sounding like Lionel Richie.     

And since it is a cheap, chintzy knockoff, I've included it for your masochistic pleasure. But most of you probably would rather have a tax audit instead of hearing this garbage.

Enjoy (Or something.)   

CD Front/Inside V Card (Other side was blank)

CD Back

CD Label