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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

1950s Hi-Fi Junior


'Nuttin' For Christmas" Stan Freberg (1955)



Kawaii Crush


You know, it's the creepy weird crap they make for little girls these days that really makes me take back every bad thing I ever said about Holly Hobbie.

Or at least Holly Hobbie never wore outsized animal carcasses over bubble gum pink hair. And some of you also have young daughters who have begged you or Santa for this.  

Now look, I know we live in edgier times. But what the hell is Kawaii Crush?

I had to investigate.



Oh dear. For those of you who just ate Christmas candy, you're probably going to need an insulin shot in 4-3-2-1.....

And who sings this soundtrack? Maroon 5? (I can't tell anymore through all the AutoTune they use in commercial pop music these days.)

Finding no answers from YouTube (and Wikipedia has no current entry on it.)



I went to Kawaii Crush's web site.

A Flash video popped up with "What is Kawaii Crush?" above the player and feeling a bit of relief, I watched my relief turn to horror as apparently, these dolls or whatever are, are supposed to be cute and they have cute crushes on cute kitties, cute pandas, cute birds and cute bunnies and cover their craniums in cute cuddly carcasses of cute critters. They live in a world where everything is cute and everyone has a crush. ("Even on candy!")

They have names like Sunny Bunny Hop Hop, Katie Cat Meow Meow, Owlena Hoot Hoot and Amanda Panda Pop.

It's enough to make Hello Kitty look like G.I. Joe.

Fortunately, the web site had a "Grown Ups" link. Unfortunately, it has the only information a parent needs to know from a toy company: Like, Follow, Subscribe and BUY!!


I stopped right here. This is about as far into Kawaii Crush cuteness as I could go without going into catastrophic diabetic shock.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!


Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Many Names Of Santa Claus


COUNTRY SANTA NAMES
United States of America, Canada - Santa Claus
Brazil - Papai Noel
China - Shengdan Laoren
Chile - Viejo Pascuero
Dutch - Sinter Klaas
England - Father Christmas
Europe - Saint Nicholas
Finland - Joulupukki
France - Père Noël
Germany - Sankt Nikolaus
Hawaii - Kanakaloka
Holland - De Kerstman
Hungary - Tel-apo/Mikulas/ Winter grandfather
India - Santa Claus, Baba
Italy - Babbo Natale
Japan - Hoteiosho
Lithuania - Kaledu Senelis
Morocco - Black Peter
Netherlands - Kerstman
Norway - Julenissen
Peru - Papa Noel
Poland - Swiety Mikolaj
Russia - Ded Moroz
Scandinavia - Julenisse
Spain - El Nino Jesus
Sweden - Tomten/Jultomten