The Truth

"Tennessee Bird Walk" Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan (1970)

One of the last singles released on Mercury subsidiary Smash, the venerable label of off the wall country music (Roger Miller, George Jones and Jerry Lee Lewis all recorded for Smash during the '60s.)

Even though the label's founder, Shelby Singleton went on to form his own empire with Plantation Records and his purchase of Sun Records in 1968, Smash still kept it's offbeat nature. And that's where we find this song.

Sea Monkeys

Sea Monkeys were an adorable, but BLATANT rip off. But to a 7 year old kid, they looked awesome.

The comic book ads looked tempting enough. I mean, just look at them. They looked so suburban. And intelligent. "THEY CAN EVEN BE 'TRAINED'" read the ad copy.

So after skipping sodas for a week, I collected $1.25

First, I had to get a fish bowl. Luckily, we still had one set aside after our goldfish swam to fishy heaven.

There were 4 packets. Water purifier, "Instant Life", "Living Plasma" and "Super Food", a feeding spoon and instructions.

The water had to be pure. Chlorine, metals, fluoride and minerals are bad for sea creatures. So. Water purifier packet and distilled water. Wait 24 hours.....

The package guaranteed they would magically appear before your very eyes. They forgot to mention you had to have superhuman vision. My mom's magnifying glass was of little use. There WERE super tiny particles in the water that appeared to have a sense of independent motion. But not enough to impress.

And where's the suburban looking Sea Monkey families? OK, they were just hatched. So when did they reach maturity? Get jobs and build houses and that sort of thing?

Granted, our Sea Monkeys didn't last a week before we threw it all out out of boredom....

Conquer The Video (Game) Craze - 1982

If you STILL love those classic '80s arcade games (and WHO doesn't?) There was a very special vinyl LP they made back in 1982 for you that you probably need to know about.

Surprisingly, even in the age of the Walkman, this NEVER got released to CASSETTE. When it mattered. It was on vinyl only...

It is an album filled with video game tips on how to defeat anything from Dig-Dug to Defender....Centipede to Pac-Man (for the arcade classics, but may work just as well for your more accurate home video games versions.)

Good luck figuring how all that translates out on a typical PS/X-Box/Wii controller.

Before They Were Stars: "Ringo I Love You" Bonnie Jo Mason (1964)

From 1964, here's a 17 year old baritone chick named Bonnie Jo Mason and her tribute to the Beatle's drummer dude.

Who was Bonnie Jo Mason? That was a pseudonym given to Cher by one Phil Spector for her first ever single.

"Baby....I'M gonna make YOU a star....."

The single flopped, namely because it's been said that radio stations and Beatles fans thought it was a love song from a gay (male) fan of Ringo's. Female singers weren't supposed to have such big baritone voices back then.

Come 1965, and enter Sonny Bono. Actually, he's been there the whole time, but it was about this time Sonny & Cher had their first hit "Baby Don't Go" (they originally released the song under the duo name Caesar & Cleo for Reprise Records.) By this time, Cher's voice had been adjusted (under Bono's pressure, I presume.) Instead of him coming down to her key, she had to come up to his.....and have a bit of that trendy Bob Dylan twang that Bono was aping himself back then......And the rest is history....