Easy Listening

Image: SeatacMedia

Today, we explore that strange Name That Tune genre of the instrumental cover of any given pop song originally called "Beautiful Music". "Muzak" Or "Easy Listening"

Or as most of us usually define it, "Elevator Music".

Today, the term "Easy Listening" gets tossed around carelessly to describe any non-descript Adult Contemporary vocal music. Michael Bolton, Lionel Richie, Celine Dion, Phil Collins and Natalie Cole, etc. get tagged as such. Or Smooth Jazz music like Lee Ritenour, Spyro Gyra, Kenny G. or Larry Carlton. While some Easy Listening radio stations play these acts, we're not talking about them.

We're talking about the real stuff.

Orchestras and instrumentalists with names like 101 Strings, Mantovani, Ray Conniff, The Hollyridge Strings, Henry Mancini, The Birchwood Pops Orchestra, Percy Faith and others.

Easy Listening is mostly defined as instrumental music. Vocals (if any) usually consisted of chorals and gender segregated by left/right stereo speaker channel (men on the left, women on the right. Or vice-versa.)

This may sound impossible, but at one time in the '70s and early '80s, it wasn't unusual to find at least two to as many as FIVE full power FM radio stations in some areas playing this very format. I am not making that up. Ask anyone over 40.

These radio stations were programmed for adults who couldn't tolerate the original versions of already schmaltzy pop hits. They wanted it with extra schmaltz.

There were even instrumental covers of instrumental hits.

"Music Box Dancer" Frank Mills (1978) was actually a Top 10 hit in the U.S. in 1979. But few easy listening radio stations played Frank Mills' original version, opting for any cover version from one of several piano players. When your schmaltz craving is this bad, you need to check yourself in for treatment....  

Back in the day in Seattle, we had KIXI, KEZX FM 99 (or as we called it in grade school, "K-Sleepy-X, FM Nighty-Nite"), "K-Bird FM 104" and the Queen Mother of all the Seattle elevator music stations, KSEA.


What kept America from a national emergency of mutually assured narcolepsy in the '70s and '80s was beyond me.

For the radio industry of the day, the choice was simple. First, it was the easiest radio format to automate.

Radio broadcasting industry trade advertisement for "The FM 100 Plan". One of several syndicators of the easy listening radio format. Photo: EasyListeningHQ.com

The FM 100 Plan also told you exactly HOW to program their format over the air on your station (Make. It. Real......Quiet.) And DON'T goof it up. They even sent reps around to the radio stations that carried the format to make sure they were conforming. Photo: EasyListeningHQ.com

Photo: EasyListeningHQ.com

Perhaps there was nothing worse for any young person in the '70s and '80s than having to go to the doctor's/dentist's office. Where these radio stations were the status quo soundtrack, wafting through the utilitarian waiting room furniture, abstract art on the walls, artificial potted palms, month old dog eared copies of Time, Highlights For Children and National Geographic on the tables and aquarium tanks with goldfish that never appeared to be moving.

How '70s/'80s kids felt with this music softly playing in the background in the waiting room at the doctor's or dentist's office....

 ....and here's what that sounded like:


It only added to the suffering of any kid already in pain who really wanted to hear some Kiss or Bay City Rollers. Or P-Funk. ANYTHING more rockin' than this dreck. We'd even put up with the country station.

But how did this supposedly non-intrusive audio wallpaper get so popular?

Well first, the genre came of age in the '50s. The Big Band sound was becoming passe and some of the famous 1940s Big Band stars (Benny Goodman, Harry James, Woody Herman, etc) had gravitated towards the be-bop sound of modern jazz. Early Easy Listening stars such as Ray Conniff and Henry Mancini got their starts in Big Band music.

It was also the pre-rock heyday of the pop crooner. Stars like Perry Como, Doris Day, Patti Page, Kay Starr and Eddie Fisher were ruling the pop charts.

But there were those (especially in the golden age of Hi-Fi) who yearned for instrumental pop music. Not the loud swinging brassy pop of the Big Bands, but something more genteel and mellow.

There were also G.I.'s returning from World War II from exotic places like Hawaii, The Philippines and the islands of French Polynesia and having been exposed to the rhythms and cultures from afar as well as worldy young bachelors with the latest stereo hi-fi equipment. Former Big Band leaders such as Martin Denny and Les Baxter noticed this and began the lounge music craze and exotically themed albums began popping up as fast as Tiki themed bars across America in the 1950s.


The craze for exotic instrumentals would continue well into the '60s with the Bossa Nova craze and the Latin Pop Jazz of Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass, which ruled the '60s easy listening sound.


Percy Faith was one of the first who took contemporary pop vocal music and made orchestrated instrumental covers of them    

       

"Thank you for waiting....Your patience is appreciated.....A customer service agent will be with you in 5 minutes......"

Jackie Gleason (yep, that Jackie Gleason), made a series of easy listening albums for Capitol Records from the 1950's to the '70s. He wrote and conducted his own arrangements.

In the 1980s however, the tide began to turn for Easy Listening. Stations began dropping the instrumental cover versions and playing straight ahead Lite Adult Contemporary vocal music or flipping to different formats.

In Seattle, KIXI flipped to Adult Contemporary in 1981 as "KIXI Light", followed shortly by KEZX.

KEZX however moved to a format that would later be described as AAA, or Adult Album Alternative and they were one of the pioneering stations in that format. KEZX played The Grateful Dead, Tracy Chapman, Matt Bianco, Roxy Music, Jackson Browne and Tom Waits as well as eclectic newer rock, among others and became a local phenomena. And somehow for eight years, they got away with it.

You see, KEZX's owner was an 85 year old man named Roy Park. Being elderly and frail, he did not travel much and pretty much took his station managers word for how his radio stations were doing and what they were playing and to Roy Park, KEZX was still playing Percy Faith and 101 Strings, not David Bowie and Bonnie Raitt.

And here's what happened. In September of 1990, Roy had gotten word KEZX wasn't playing the easy listening format he had intended for it. And so he made a surprise visit to the station and the minute he walked in, he heard the station's hallway air monitors playing the station's new imaging liner "98.9 KEZX, The Northwest Progressive" and segue into some uptempo song that wasn't anything close to what he was expecting and he hit the ceiling. And fired everyone. Two weeks later, the format abruptly changed back to Easy Listening in spite of some very vocal listener protests. KEZX later became a Smooth Jazz station called KWJZ and is a "Modern Adult Contemporary" today called "Click 98.9"

KSEA changed to Adult Contemporary in February 1989 and I remember watching hundreds of music reel tapes going into the dumpster (unfortunately, I couldn't rescue any. And they're extremely valuable to Easy Listening music collectors today because they contain music that was never released commercially and a single complete music reel today can fetch $500. But in 1989, they were garbage I guess.)

By 1990, Easy Listening radio stations were dropping like flies. Every day for a while, another station dropped the format for a younger leaning format. Easy Listening went from nearly 500 radio stations in 1980 to about 30 in 1995.

But easy listening still has die hard fans. And even younger generations are doing what my generation would never be caught dead doing - actually enjoying it. (And I still play Name That Tune with it.)

And there are a few radio stations still playing this music:

Terrestrial:

1340/107.3 KWXY Cathedral City, CA




90.9 WKTZ Jacksonville, FL  (Update: WKTZ is no longer broadcasting over it's terrestrial signal, which was sold to Jesuscaster chain K-Love. Jones College however still streams it's easy listening format via http://jcr.jones.edu/)


95.9 KMGR Delta, Utah 

97.5 KNXR Rochester, MN (No web link) (Update: Sold, changed formats)

101.1 WAVV Naples, FL (No Audio Stream)

102.1 KAHM Prescott, AZ

106.3 WGCY Gibson City, IL



Online:
WQEZ-DB (This is a tribute station to WQEZ Stereo 96 in Birmingham, AL by a devoted listener.)      
Airstream.fm  (Audio Stream Back up 12/25/15)
CrystalRadio.ca

Radio Programs:
The Tiki Cha-Cha Club
The Elevator Club
Koop Kooper's Cocktail Nation
The Spin-O-Rama Hour
Jet Set Planet

Cable/Dish:
Music Choice
DMX

XM/Sirus:
Escape

North Korean Pop Culture

Morning rush hour traffic snarls in downtown Pyongyang......

First, before I go into this, I need to say I'm not a sympathizer of the North Korean regime and I'm aware of the atrocities and miserable human rights record of it. It's no joke.

But the contradiction between the North Korean 'official' line of "Paradise On Earth" and reality are embarrassingly visual just by viewing and listening to North Korea's own media and raise far more uncomfortable questions than the regime can explain or live down. So you don't ask questions. Who asks questions in North Korea?
 
That said, what I'm showcasing here is the regime manufactured pop culture of this strange country. It's one that is strangely fascinating to me because it is so far off the grid from the rest of the world, it's one that needs an illustration. There is nothing anywhere else in the world like it. (Even Cuba has loopholes.)

In most ways, North Korea is The Land That Pop Culture Forgot. Because in North Korea, the regime dictates what you have for fun, recreation, music, food and style. It must conform to "revolutionary" principles (or at least not be a threat to them.)


That kinda stifles things a bit in the pop culture development department.

First, it's hard to get a real look inside the country. You can't just arrive, check into your hotel and freely stroll around Pyongyang, meeting and talking with people, taking pictures and visiting the locals without a minder (a government official designated to guide you around to specific places and people only) Tourists are forbidden to stray beyond their hotel without one.

This isn't London, Sydney or Tokyo.

Americans in particular are viewed with suspicion in North Korea. It's been that way since the 1950s when America backed South Korea in the Korean War. A war that never actually ended (a truce was signed but never a formal peace treaty.) But there are always skirmishes along the De-Militarized Zone - a funny name for one of the most heavily armed places on earth, with a million soldiers on either side, waiting for the other side to blink. (And as long as there is a DMZ, the war is still on.)

Americans still aid the South Koreans, but in nowhere near the numbers of the Korean War itself. And a few American soldiers even went turncoat and defected to North Korea.

The funny thing about James Dresnok is while he looks like he's got it made, he sure drinks a lot. Note also all the full unopened bottles on the table. Most of us would stick that in the fridge already....

And they still like taking American POWs (as Merrill Newman, Laura Ling, Kenneth Bae and Euna Lee can tell you.)

So that kinda wipes it off most people's travel plans.

The only factor it does have going for it is outside curiosity. Because many people want to peek over the bamboo curtain and see what it looks like. Not that there's much to see.

So let's look at what's there:

Music

There is no rock music in North Korea. Or ever has been. There's been buzzing talk all over the record collector forums of The Beatles having official North Korean albums. But that's just amateur vinyl collectors trying to psyche the novices with South Korean Beatles albums and there's no actual evidence of any official North Korean Beatles releases.

Nice try.

Or ANY Western pop music. Ever. No blues, country, jazz, punk, rap or thrash metal either. Not for North Koreans.

Even in the Kim family's better moods.

North Korean music is the only music in the world in North Korea. You do not get to play the music the Dear Leader does not approve. Any other music, especially from capitalist countries, is punishable by (assume the worst.)

The only pop music in North Korea is a hybrid electronic Easy Listening / Classical / Soft Adult Contemporary kind of propaganda delivered via acts such as The North Korean Army Band, The Moranbong Band, The Pyongyang Gold Stars and The Ponchonbo Electric Ensemble and simply everybody's favourite, Unknown.

These aren't exactly The Greatest Hits of All Time in the rest of the world.

(But that doesn't mean Western pop doesn't sneak in in some strange and subtle way. Take The Pyongyang Gold Stars accordion reworking of a-ha's 1980's classic "The Sun Always Shines On TV")


Going through the North Korean YouTube channels, here are the current hits. Not in any particular order. There are no pop charts in North Korea and only a more dedicated music eccentric than I outside of North Korea would know WHEN they were actually released to the public there. If ever. Or WHO they actually are.

It's been said members of the North Korean bands change line-ups worse than Styx, Kiss, Van Halen or even Jefferson Starship. And not exactly by petty egos, drug abuse, solo ambitions or infighting either....

So here's The Latest Hits in North Korea:

"The Leader's Bright Smile" The North Korean Army Band
"Socialism, We Love You" Unknown
"If Mother Party Wishes" The Moranbong Band
"We'll Become Regiment No. 7 of Today!" Unknown
"Let's Study!" The Moranbong Band

This isn't exactly Casey Kasem's Top 40.

Pyongyang 105.2 FM - This is the local FM radio station of Pyongyang. It broadcasts only in the evenings and plays a daily mix of anthems, arduous marches and easy listening pop. All of which praise the regime or are nationalistic in some way.


No "Hit or History" new song battles, no wacky morning zoos, no Top 40 countdowns, no love songs and dedications hours (unless they're for the Dear Leader. Your boyfriend can go boil an egg for all they care.)

Concerts: Did I mention there is no thrash metal in North Korea? Good. Your codpiece is invalid anyway in North Korea. No mosh pits, no festival seating, no Bic lighter waving power ballads, no shouts of "PLAY FREE BIRD!", no high decibel volume levels or risque stage antics. You can take your most conservative grandma to a North Korean concert with confidence.

Some people take a video cam to a concert, others take their hashpipes. Dear Leader takes his big oak office desk. When was the last concert you did that? Slayer?


The Moranbong Band (North Korea's answer to....I guess the closest thing this side of Pyongyang to these girls would be Celtic Woman) is currently the most popular band in North Korea. Because the Dear Leader says so.

Shopping

Shopping is a tricky subject in North Korea. Because there isn't any.

Actually, there is - in  Pyongyang. But what's there is mostly for display. There is always new construction going on in Pyongyang and what comes up are usually big gorgeous department stores with everything.

Except customers.


But this isn't the real North Korean shopping experience.

This is.

TV


First, there is only one TV channel in North Korea. And only in Pyongyang.

It broadcasts 6-8 hours a day. Usually in the evening hours There is no weekday television, filled with gossipy entertainment talk shows, soap operas, infomercials and trailer trash. People are either working or going to school.

The only other daytime broadcast option is a state controlled radio channel that wafts in through most Pyongyang apartment kitchens with programming mostly for housewives.

These radios are built-in and tuned to the main state radio channel. It is only capable of receiving that station. No others. In fact, there's a seal on the back that if broken could send you to the prison camps because it would indicate you were trying to listen to foreign broadcasts. And while you can turn down the volume, you can never turn them off. 

The TV broadcast day begins at around 4:30pm and features a test card with a soundtrack of instrumental easy listening music similar to the kind you hear on Pyongyang 105.2 FM.

The hottest prime time TV programs in North Korea stars the Dear Leader as he goes around inspecting all sorts of new construction, making comments and gestures as if to say "You know I hate that shade of blue, don't you?"

Often, he is flanked by several army members and an entourage that writes down his comments on little notepads.

 You can watch it live online here: http://112.170.78.145:50000/chosun. Note that program start times are very erratic. That's because there are no commercials on North Korean TV. The only break up between programs are the music videos (again, only of nationalist music. No titillating girls shaking their butts all over the hoods of sports cars.) 

Food

North Korea is one of those places that would even make a dedicated foodie like me nervous.

Purple beer?

But in a country that starves the majority of it's citizens (except for Dear Leader of course), they take what they can get.

Even the names of the factories that make North Korean food are gross...

It's "crabonated"!

But the first indicator you may have strayed too far (if you missed the Beijing airport, the Air Koryo terminal and the Ilyushin IL-62 you are boarding) are the infamous Air Koryo in-flight hamburgers. 

Computers & Internet

First, there's two platforms of internet access.


For you, the tourist with your tablets and smartphones, there's 3G mobile service thats limited to the special tourist hotel you'll be staying at (P.S. Watch what you tell your Facebook friends and Aunt Sadie in Peoria. It's monitored.) You have to have a special SIM card to call out or receive incoming calls/texts.

For you, the North Korean in Pyongyang, a special intranet that connects only to a government server with only regime approved (and created) sites. There is no home internet service (so much for "Paradise on Earth".) All access to this North Korean-only network is for university students and higher-ups and only at The Great Study Hall and certain universities. The two networks do not connect at all.

Newspapers will be alive and well in North Korea long after the civilized world has abandoned them.

The main computer operating system is North Korea's own Red Star OS. Which is based on Linux and functions similar to Windows XP. It is only in Korean and accesses the North Korean intranet only. There are download links to a pirated copy and if you dare with an old computer, you can install it. But you won't be able to access the North Korean intranet, as it is completely off the grid from the main internet.

These are screenshots from an older version. The newest version which came out earlier this year resembles Mac OS X.    

 

There is now a little tablet computer for North Koreans, based on Android called Samjiyon. It comes with a North Korean version of Angry Birds. It doesn't have any internet or even North Korean intranet access.

 

Style & Fashion

Note the pictures of Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il on the walls. They are mandatory in every apartment, every house, every building and every office and in every public room in North Korea and are to be treated with the same reverence a religious person would give their most cherished symbols. If not more so... 

You know those big books of modern hairstyles you see in most beauty salons? In North Korea, they have those too. Each one carefully selected by the regime (lest your hair become a subversive agent in itself.)

There's even a TV show in North Korea called (and I'm not making this up) Let's Trim Our Hair In Accordance With The Socialist Lifestyle

No slacker shags. No dreadlocks, no poofy curls, no punk mohawks. You can't dye your hair or go totally bald. Or deviate and create your own look in any way. What you see is what you get. 

But more recently, it's been said all male university students must now have the same Operation game haircut as the Dear Leader.

I must say that's not a look that works for every guy. Not even Dear Leader. But who's going to tell him "Dear Leader, your hair looks like a mustache glued to the top of an egg"? Who?

You can't get tattoos in North Korea. No string bikinis for the ladies. No badass leather jackets. No t-shirts, no jeans, no sneakers.

The military look seems all the rage. When a third of the population is conscripted to some military service, that's to be expected.

When all is said and done, you're probably thinking "These people will never change. They will live forever in this existential hellhole of make believe on one end and brutal repression, starvation and very bad taste on the other." 

That's not entirely true...

Outside pop culture is sneaking in (as it always does.) On black market thumb drives and DVDs filled with South Korean TV shows, movies and other material. However, DVDs are becoming a less favoured option and here is why. Electricity is scarce in North Korea and blackouts are frequent. But most especially, some of the blackouts are planned. So police can conduct door by door searches for any contraband and should you wind up with a naughty illegal DVD stuck in your DVD player because you can't open the thing (not an easy thing to do in the dark with cops banging at the door), you and your entire family are doomed. Thumb drives are easier to hide and most modern Chinese made DVD players have thumb drive players built in. Little wind-up shortwave radios are also coming in. 

You see, any totalitarian regime begins to collapse when it suppresses pop culture. It's simple human nature to have fun and colour in our lives. To not only see and dream about the outside world, but to travel beyond our own borders. Be they geographic or in our own minds

Rock 'n roll itself caused more rust to the Iron Curtain than any of Reagan's tough talk in the 1980s through smuggled records and tapes in the '60s and '70s.

A magazine ad from 1980.

By the 1980s, Gorbachev himself knew the totalitarianism of his predecessors was impossible to maintain. The people of the former Soviet Union were demanding change. He had no other choice but to begin glasnost (or "openness".) Which led to fall of the Eastern Bloc nations, the Berlin Wall to where we are today. China itself, once one of the most hardline of totalitarian states, now has freewheeling pop culture.

Will North Korea change?

It will. But not overnight. Change doesn't work that way. You just have to keep chipping away until the wall finally collapses.

But it will collapse. History doesn't lie.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Ahhh...Cinco de Mayo. The day we Americans celebrate Mexican Independence Day by throwing parties, quaffing margaritas, tequila or Modelo beer and enjoying a fun super tasty South of The Border feast.

But that's not entirely correct. There's lots of fun parties and the alcohol does flow freely. The food is always marvelous and super tasty.

Yet Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican independence day. That's September 16th. Cinco de Mayo is in fact, more of an American holiday than a Mexican one. And one that deserves more recognition than it gets.

Cinco de Mayo's roots begin during the French occupation of Mexico. Mexico at the time was in a real mess. They had 15 years of wars (The Mexican-American War, The Mexican Civil War and The Reform War) and everybody was getting tired of it. Finally in 1861, Mexican President Benito Juarez told Britain, Spain and France to hold off on their debt collection for these wars for two years until they can financially reorganize and get the country back on track.

They sent armies to confront Mexico and collect their debts regardless. Britain and Spain negotiated and backed off. But the French, under the rule of Napoleon III would not hear of it and another war began. Napoleon III wanted to turn Mexico into a French territory and since the Americans at the time were in an ugly civil war, he thought he could establish a strong enough foothold in Mexico, which he could then use to invade America (which was still a very small, very rural country at the time.) By using the Confederate South as proxies.

Napoleon sent 8,000 troops to attack Mexico's 4,500 troops at Veracruz. But on May 5, 1862, the much smaller Mexican army sent the French into retreat. The news reached the border communities of America where people celebrated the news.

While there would be more fighting, a major turning point had begun. Had Napoleon III defeated the Mexicans at Veracruz, the Civil War could have ended very differently.

So Cinco de Mayo is very much an American holiday. (More on Cinco de Mayo)

It was the expanding Latino communities that brought the holiday across America. But it was beer companies in the '80s that helped bring Cinco de Mayo into the American mainstream.

Because if there's one thing everyone LOVES, it's to party.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Remember May Day Baskets?

Remember when we used to make May Day Baskets out of brightly coloured construction paper and our crayons?

It was a lot more fun than getting decked upside the head by some dreadlocked anarchy dude from down in Eugene, OR who came up to pick a fight in Seattle on you because you LOOK like a capitalist (and sometimes, LESS than they do) on an otherwise perfectly good Thursday night when you actually kinda felt for them and would love to help them figure things out if they would just CALM DOWN!

Good times.....

You Might Be Watching Too Much Fox News If........

1. You are OUTRAGED at how Obama has shredded the Constitution but can’t name any rights you’ve lost since January 20, 2009.

2. You think record breaking cold weather in the middle of winter disproves “Global Warming.”

3. You think record breaking cold weather in the middle of winter disproves “Global Warming” but record breaking heat waves in the summer are just a fluke.

4. You hate Obama for the almost 1700 American lives lost in Afghanistan under his watch but have no idea how many died in Iraq before he took office (Hint: more than 4000).

5. You call Afghanistan “Obama’s War” but ignore the entire first eight years of it.

6. You think there’s no way Chris Christie knew about the scandal unfolding in his own office but Obama clearly knew what a small IRS office in Cincinnati was up to.

7. You think 4 Americans dying in Benghazi is “the worst tragedy since 9/11.“

8. You denounce Bill Clinton as an adulterer but give a pass to David Vitter and Mark Sanford because they apologized.

9. You are both convinced Obama is a secret Muslim and still go into a frenzy when someone mention Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

10. You really do think Obama is a secret Muslim terrorist that drinks beer, eats pork, attended church for years (ARRRGH! Rev. Jeremiah Wright!), had his daughters baptized, had bin Laden killed and has had more terrorist leaders assassinated than every president before him combined.

11. You think bin Laden was responsible for 9/11 because he ordered the attack but Obama gets no credit for bin Laden’s death because he only ordered the attack.

12. You swear that Obama is coming for your guns.

13. You’ve been swearing that Obama is coming for your guns since before he was elected.

14. You swear that Obama has actually reduced your right to own guns but you can’t explain how.

15. You have ever used the phrase: Obama’s Katrina to describe something that was not the bungled response to a major natural disaster.

16. You’re positive Obama isn’t a true Christian but then got mad he had too many Christmas trees (no, seriously, that was a thing).

17. You think Muslims are terrorists and religious fanatics but think protecting gay kids from bullies is an attack on your religious beliefs.

18. You constantly complain the liberal media takes things out of context but you’re deeply offended that Obama said “You didn’t build that.”

19. You think that ACORN stole the 2008 election. Maybe the 2012 one as well.

20. You think “voter fraud” is an actual problem but can’t explain how cutting early voting stops it.

21. In 2009, cutting the $1.4 trillion deficit in half was the most important thing in the world but in 2014, you could care less about how much the deficit was cut (Hint: in half).

22. You hate Obama for not having served a day in the military but voted for Mitt Romney.

23. You think Obama is the laziest president ever for taking so many vacation days but “forget” that it’s less than a third of his predecessor.
23a. Never mind how many days he took, the president shouldn’t take vacations during a time of  crisis!
23b. Never mind that Bush took vacations during two wars and a recession! Obama is   spending tax payer money to loaf about!
23c. I said WHO CARES that Bush took more than three times as much vacation time? It only counts when the black guy takes a vacation!

24. You think Obama embarrassed America by bowing to other heads of state but forgot about the time Bush held hands and kissed Prince Abdullah.

25. You think Obama is terrible for the economy while the stock market continues to hit all time highs.

26. You think the stock market hitting all times highs doesn’t mean the economy is improving but you still believe in Trickle Down Economics.

27. You claim you don’t believe in Trickle Down Economics but insist that increasing taxes on the rich will hurt the economy.

28. You’re outraged OUTRAGED at Obama for not unilaterally launching a full scale war on Iran but call him a warmonger for joining an international coalition to stop a massacre in Libya.

29. You think Obama is “dumb.”

30. You really think a Harvard graduate is “dumb.”

31. You really seriously think a Harvard graduate and a former president of the Harvard Law Review is “dumb.”

32. You think Obama hates white people which would include his white mother and the white grandparents that raised him to be President of the United States.

33. You think Obama is a criminal mastermind that has broken dozens of laws involving thousands of government workers but no one can actually prove anything.

34. You think Obama is an absolute idiot who has broken dozens of laws involving thousands of government workers but no one can actually prove anything.

35. You think Climate Change is a vast liberal conspiracy to destroy Capitalism.

36. You claim evolution is a liberal hoax but still take your kids to their yearly flu shot.

37. You claim science is just a religion but do not think twice about boarding an airplane.

38. You think the private sector can completely replace government investments but you’re OUTRAGED Obama ended the Space Shuttle program.

39. You think using a teleprompter means you are stupid. But only if you happen to be the president. It’s OK for everyone else.

40. You think being asked to drink an extra glass of water a day is tyranny.

41. You think being asked to do more community service is tyranny.

42. You think being asked to help the poor get health insurance is tyranny.

43. You think being asked to let women choose to use birth control is tyranny.

44. You think being asked to respect other religions is tyranny.

45. You think being asked to leave homosexuals alone is tyranny.

46. You think being publicly shamed for your racism is tyranny.

47. You think not allowing criminals and the mentally ill to buy guns is tyranny.

48. You think allowing everyone to vote is tyranny.

49. You think Obama exercising his constitutional authorities is tyranny.

50. You grew up in America and think you actually understand what real tyranny is.

Addicting Info

World War II Mickey Mouse Gas Masks

On December 7th, 1941, Japanese pilots dropped a bomb on the Pearl Harbor military base, which is one of the main reasons that drove the United States into World War II. After this incident, many Americans feared that the Axis would attack their soil.

To protect its population, the government distributed gas masks to the state of Hawaii. Unfortunately, there were only adult-sized masks. Children had trouble wearing the large gas masks and many were terrified of the safety device’s look.

As a solution, gas masks were created and issued shaped as Mickey Mouse. The masks were designed in mind so that children would wear them at all times and carry them as a game.

That was the intention anyway. Personally these things look scarier than the regular gas masks.

Fortunately, the 1000 Mickey masks that were made never had to be used.

Conelrad Radio

Conelrad was a civil radio alert system used in the early '50s to the '60s. If the Russians ever decided to press the button, you could tune your radio to the nationwide Conelrad frequencies, 640 or 1240 kHz on the AM side of the radio dial and get instructions on how to save yourself and yours from the ensuing fallout. AM radios of that era had tiny inverted triangles on their dials marking the dial positions of Conelrad stations.

You can actually identify any American radio made between 1953 and 1963. Just look for the Conelrad markers. Usually an inverted triangle. But some were inverted triangles in circles.....

The Conelrad stations were the direct predecessors of the annoying EAS data bursts you hear on the radio today.  They were originally a civil defense method of warning radio listeners in the event of a nuclear attack.

There was no music or lite talk on Conelrad stations. They were strictly for emergency information.

One of the biggest questions I get asked is why were Conelrad stations on those frequencies? And why weren't any on FM?

First, all but two broadcast frequencies (all other AM radio stations, including TV and FM stations) were required to go off the air FM radio was still in it's infancy. Most radios were AM only and in the '50s, FM had very few listeners by comparison. TV was also still fairly new and TV wouldn't reach coast to coast and ubiquitous in homes until the early '60s. These wouldn't be the best mediums to inform the public of a national emergency. Secondly, the nature of FM/TV broadcasting would make these stations "sitting ducks" for enemy aircraft with radio direction finding. 

It was through radio direction finding that Japanese aircraft were able to attack Pearl Harbor by homing in on the signal of KGU, Honolulu.

The 640 and 1240 AM frequencies were selected to confuse enemy aircraft RDF. One radio station would broadcast for a few seconds go off the air, then change over to the next station in a chain that would alternate between 640 and 1240. By doing this, it would be very difficult for enemy aircraft with RDF to get a "lock" on any signal accurately.

And yes, there were some actual radio stations on these frequencies. 640 was occupied by 50,000 watt radio stations KFI Los Angeles and WGST Atlanta and 1240 (which was occupied by many lower power 1,000 watt radio stations.)  

It looked brilliant in theory. But in practice, it was pretty clumsy. Higher power radio transmitters (especially the older ones at some radio stations.) weren't made to be shut on and off like that and some transmitters failed. 

     
Conelrad was replaced by the Emergency Broadcast System when missiles could be launched instead of dropped from airplanes. Where designated radio stations in each area served as the primary EBS radio stations. Stations in surrounding areas would relay these broadcasts over their signals or would refer the listeners to tune to the originating station. They also broadened their services to include emergency information of severe weather or man-made/natural disasters.

Here's a video tape from 1990 that explains how the EBS worked on the radio/TV station level.

Under the EAS system of today, ALL radio stations regardless of signal reach or MUST participate. The EAS also provides Amber Alerts for missing kids as well as other emergency information.   

This site archives the endless sights and sounds of this nervous era. If you're old enough to remember the Cold War, you'll be in for a really cool flashback and if you're not, welcome to the bomb shelter....

http://www.conelrad.com/index.php 

Micronations

Ever wanted to just declare your independence and form your own banana republic?

Well, actually a LOT of people want to do that....

  
Much easier to do in the virtual world than in the real one. Not to say some haven't tried. History is filled with failed attempts at nation building:

Try this game out:

http://nationstates.net/

But that hasn't kept people from trying the real thing.

They're called "micronations". A micronation is basically a one-person government, dictatorship and subjects are usually members of one's own family (like in some areas of Utah or the South) or just themselves. A King/Queen in their own minds I guess. And the land mass is no bigger than one's own residence. 

It also pays to be absolutely insane (or have balls the size of watermelons.)

Sealand:

The most famous of these is Sealand. Sealand was created out of an abandoned man-made World War II Royal Navy base in the English Channel called Rough's Tower. 

When the Royal Navy abandoned it in 1956, a pirate radio operator named Paddy Roy Bates took it over. Since Rough's Tower was abandoned and in international waters, he declared Rough's Tower a sovereign nation and called it Sealand. Bates and his family moved there and the hobby grew, minting their own coins and stamps and issuing passports. All worthless of course, but one can dream, can't they?

http://www.sealandgov.org/

Molossia:

Located in Nevada, this guy is your basic Micronation hobbyist. This video explains everything. 

And he's STILL at war with East Germany.....

http://www.molossia.org/countryeng.html

More on micronations:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micronation

Don’t Think I’ve Forgotten: Cambodia’s Lost Rock-N-Roll

Back in the '60s and early '70s, in a tiny kingdom in Southeast Asia very few Americans had ever known of and rarely even heard the name of up to then, a rock 'n roll revolution was happening.

Cambodia was a pretty Westernized nation at the time and it's capitol, Phnom Penh was surprisingly modern and trendsetting compared to most of Asia during those years. Many rock and roll bands were formed during the Vietnam war, taking rock and roll music that was brought to Cambodia by American soldiers stationed there and blending it with traditional Cambodian music to create probably one of the most unique sub-genres of '60s rock ever heard, one that could have easily held it's own along with the American and British rock that influenced it, even in if it was sung mostly in Cambodian.

But the kingdom became destabilized with the Vietnam war raging at it's border. The Khmer Rouge and it's leader Pol Pot had taken over Cambodia in 1975 and began the most bloody genocide and torture the world had ever seen since Hitler's Germany. Over two million Cambodians, one third of it's ENTIRE population were slaughtered in what became infamously known as The Killing Fields.

Virtually all musicians, artists and intellectuals were sent to work in forced labor camps, many were worked, starved or in the case of many women, also beaten and raped to death. Many people merely in possession of these Cambodian artist's records or tapes were killed or sent to camps to suffer the same fates and the records/tapes were destroyed. Very few original studio master tapes survived. However, a handful of songs have survived on 2nd or 3rd generation cassette tapes and vinyl discs that were smuggled out of Cambodia or hidden, from which came a few compilations released in the '90s, one which I found in 1998 and my own interest in this lost music began.

There is a forthcoming movie that chronicles this lost era just before the Khmer Rouge takeover of Cambodia called Don't Think I've Forgotten: Cambodia's Lost Rock & Roll.

Here is the trailer for it:

 
Here's one of the biggest Cambodian rock hits.  "I'm 16" Ros Sereysothea

The movie has been in production for nearly seven years, but it is due in 2013. Check it out....It's an eye opener into rock n' roll's most tragic mystery....

Website: http://www.dtifcambodia.com

UPDATE: 1/11/14  - Don't Think I've Forgotten premiered in Phnom Penh. It's US release is still unknown. But here's a recent article about the film and some of the artists:

http://www.phnompenhpost.com/7days/long-awaited-film-tells-tale-cambodia%E2%80%99s-musical-%E2%80%98golden-age%E2%80%99 

UPDATE: 3/8/15 - The movie is currently being screened at selected film festivals across America. It's unclear if there will ever be a Netflix showing or Blu-Ray or DVD release of the film.