Aqua Dots

 

It seemed like a good idea.....

A kids art toy that made art out of little beads (aka "dots") and it was 2007 Toy of The Year, what could go wrong?

Well, everything.

The beads were manufactured in China and when combined with water, the chemicals did more than make art. When little kids swallowed the colourful dots that looked like candy (as little kids tend to do), and when mixed with water (or saliva) they combined to make what is known as GBH, infamously known as a "date rape" drug. Several kids were hospitalized after ingesting them. Fortunately no fatalities.

They were immediately recalled and parents rightfully began to question toys made in China and to no one's surprise, the vast majority of American toys are manufactured in China. Which is out of the jurisdiction of American regulators and where American toy corporations manufacture most of their toys because of the extremely cheap labour in manufacturing.

The product was reintroduced as Bindeez, Beados and Pixos using a non-toxic formula that was coated with a bitter tasting substance to discourage ingestion.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bindeez

Pizza Hut Electric Baking Oven

From the late '70s.....

Gay Bob

"He comes dressed in mucho macho plaid shirt blue jeans that open with a smart snap to reveal his private parts......He lives in a closet....."

But this wasn't the first 'gay' doll.......

THIS was.....

Sea Monkeys

Sea Monkeys were an adorable, but BLATANT rip off. But to a 7 year old kid, they looked awesome.

The comic book ads looked tempting enough. I mean, just look at them. They looked so suburban. And intelligent. "THEY CAN EVEN BE 'TRAINED'" read the ad copy.

So after skipping sodas for a week, I collected $1.25

First, I had to get a fish bowl. Luckily, we still had one set aside after our goldfish swam to fishy heaven.

There were 4 packets. Water purifier, "Instant Life", "Living Plasma" and "Super Food", a feeding spoon and instructions.

The water had to be pure. Chlorine, metals, fluoride and minerals are bad for sea creatures. So. Water purifier packet and distilled water. Wait 24 hours.....

The package guaranteed they would magically appear before your very eyes. They forgot to mention you had to have superhuman vision. My mom's magnifying glass was of little use. There WERE super tiny particles in the water that appeared to have a sense of independent motion. But not enough to impress.

And where's the suburban looking Sea Monkey families? OK, they were just hatched. So when did they reach maturity? Get jobs and build houses and that sort of thing?

Granted, our Sea Monkeys didn't last a week before we threw it all out out of boredom....

Robo Jesus

All Hail The Saviour Of Computer Geeks Everywhere. It was programmed with scalable compatibility and simplicity, yet It was decommissioned on the UNIVAC mainframe for our parsing errors......

(And yes, it's a REAL TOY from Japan)

Scary Toys

Random Retro Odds & Ends

Trouble.....With Pop-O-Matic

They were fun......Too much fun....If you accidentally inhaled any of this fumy crap,  prepare for an INCREDIBLE evening of light-headedness, dizziness, occasional hallucinations and sometimes nausea. They were pulled when it was found out why kids were acting weird after playing with this stuff. Not that kids were "normal" doing anything else particularly.....   

The Spirograph was a drawing kit that launched a million abstract artist careers.....

In the late '80s, "Cajun flavoured" anything was a big seller......

I'm sorry, but "Nesquik" is a STUPID rebranding of this otherwise awesome mix.....

The Sharp QT-50  (1985) was a mini-portable in some pretty far out colours.......

Undisputedly the worst shaped popsicle EVER........

Sound familiar? This button came out when Reagan's economic policies were becoming apparent by the early '80s....

.....and something more recent. I don't know WHO came up with these super creepy looking mascots for the 2012 Olympics, but they have been known for giving some little kids nightmares (LITTLE KIDS?? They give ME nightmares!)

Wham-O Magic Window

Remember these?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wham-o_magic_window

Stretch Armstrong

When these were introduced, my 7 year old mind thought he was based on a cousin of Louis Armstrong. I remember watching a TV show and how big Louis Armstrong puffed out his cheeks when playing the trumpet. They HAD to be related somehow......

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stretch_Armstrong 

Mr. Mouth

Now here was a game that was fun for about 15 minutes. Tomy's Mr. Mouth.......

The Fisher Price Movie Viewer

How many of you remember THIS when you were a kid?

This was Fisher-Price's nifty little comeback to GAF's ViewMaster. Each cartridge held a short cartoon (it was silent.) Plus it was hand-wound. No batteries!

The Spirit of '76